Energizing Force Comic Strips - Page 3

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

51 Results for Energizing Force

View 21 - 30 results for energizing force comic strips. Discover the best "Energizing Force" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #demons possessed, #view websites, #unspeakable abominations, #approve the purchase

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says to the Boss, "Demons have possessed my PC. They force me to view websites of unspeakable abominations." Wally continues, "The only solution is for you to approve the purchase of a new PC for me." Dilbert approaches Wally, now sitting at his computer and asks, "How are the unspeakable abominations today?" Wally replies, "Much faster."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #few changes, #vinery idea, #unimaginative retread, #idea, #discredited, #energizing force, #chat, #manage someone else

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss brings Dilbert a piece of paper. He tells him, "Good idea, Dilbert ... I made a few changes and sent it out." Dilbert reads the paper and screams, "GAAA!" Dilbert says, "You removed the parts that made it a visionary idea!" As the Boss stares at him blankly, Dilbert continues, "Now it's just an unimaginative retread of an idea that has been widely discredited." Dilbert yells in shock, "GAAA! AND IT HAS MY NAME ON IT!" Dilbert collapses back on his desk, saying, "That idea was the energizing force that gave me strength to work." Dilbert yells, "NOW IT'S DEAD! YOU KILLED IT!" Dilbert lies backwards, his head on his desk, gurgling. The Boss says, "I'd love to chat but I have to manage someone else now."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #open plan office, #cameras record employees, #monitor phone calls, #surveillance, #test blood, #flog them

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert stands on a desk facing the Boss. Catbert says, "We'll take away the cubicle walls and force emplyees to work in an "open plan" office." Catbert says, "Surveillance cameras will record their every move. We'll monitor phone calls and web use. We'll even test their blood!" The Boss says, "Can we flog them?" Catbert says, "Whoa, cowboy! Wait for phase two."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #conversation, #cubicle, #dwellers, #shut up!!, #alice, #impatience

View Transcript

Transcript

Two employees talking outside of Alice's cubicle. Alice says to the employees, "Excuse me. I couldn't avoid hearing your converstaion outside my cubicle." Alice continues, "I think I speak for a lot of cubicle dwellers when I say..." Alice yells, "SHUT UP!!" Both employees are pushed backwards by the force of Alice's yell.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sales force, #retirement buyout, #fifty dollars, #meeting, #boss, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

At the staff meeting, The Boss says, "The sales force was offered a retirement buyout package of fifty dollars." He continues, "One hundred percent of the sales force elected to take the offer." The Boss says, "I wonder what they know that we don't know." Wally turns to Dilbert and says, "There's a hole with no bottom."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #interesting presentation, #spies, #slides, #new prodcut, #kills mold, #mildew, #software, #placebo effect, #stunned silence, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Wally peer around a doorway. Ken stands in the foreground. Dilbert says, "Ken, may we have a word with you?" Wally and Dilbert sit across from Ken at a table. Wally says, "We heard that you gave an interesting presentation at the sales staff meeting." Ken says, "Thanks." Dilbert says, "Our spies gave us copies of your slides." Wally and Dilbert hold up pieces of paper. Dilbert says, "You told them that our new product kills mold and mildew." Ken says, "Won't it?" Dilbert and Wally scream, "WE MAKE SOFTWARE!" Ken says, "So? Haven't you ever heard of the placebo effect?!!!" Caption: Stunned Silence. Arrows point at Wally's and Dilbert's heads. The Boss, Wally and Dilbert sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "..In company news, our entire sales force shriveled up and died for no apparent reason."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #task force, #recruit, #smartest college seniors, #lie often, #real life experince, #meetings, #parties

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss tels Dilbert, "You'll be on the task force to recruit the smartest college seniors to work here." The Boss says, "Remember, don't lie often. And don't mock them for their lack of real life experience." The college student, unshaven, says, "so you're saying meetings are just like parties?" Dilbert replies, "Well, I'm not allowed to say orgy..."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #career counselor, #enough people quit, #best startegy, #convince coworkers, #video, #exact moment, #life force, #leaves body

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally sits across from Dogbert's desk and Dogbert sits on the desk. Dogbert says, "The company won't lay you off if enough people quit first." Dogbert continues, "Your best strategy is to convince your co-workers that their jobs are intolerable." Wally shines a flashlight on Asok and points a video camera at him. Wally says, "We do this for all the young employees, Asok. I'll capture the exact moment that your life force leaves your body."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #love, #strongest force, #stupidity, #cousin ignorance, #morning breath, #selfhiness, #lust, #fear, #money, #luck, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands by the door putting his coat on. He asks, "Dogbert, do you think love is the strongest force in the universe?" Dogbert replies as they walk down the front steps, "No, I'd have to go with stupidity." They walk outdoors. Dogbert continues, "Followed closely by it's cousin ignorance." Dilbert lifts Dogbert onto a fence. Dogbert continues, "Morning breath is number three. Thanks for reminding me." Dogbert continues, "Then you've got selfishness, lust, fear, money and luck." Dilbert asks, "But love is in the top ten, right?" Dogbert replies, "It's fourteenth, right after foolish optimism." Dilbert says, "Someone needs his little round back scratched." Dogbert says, "Do not." Dilbert scratches Dogbert's back and asks, "Where's love now?" Dogbert says, "It'd down and to the left . . . LEFT!! LEFT!! LEFT!! Oowahh . . ."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employee satisfaction survey, #department dismal, #assigning satisfaction, #task force, #problem solved

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert and Alice, "The results of the employee satisfaction survey are in. Scores for my department are dismal." The Boss continues, "I'm assigning you to the satisfaction task force until the problem is solved." Dilbert and Alice look upset. Dilbert says, "Please . . . Anything but that . . ." The Boss asks, "How satisfied are you NOW?"