Ever Comic Strips - Page 3

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350 Results for Ever

View 21 - 30 results for ever comic strips. Discover the best "Ever" comics from Dilbert.com.

Scourge Of Teamwork

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Scourge Of Teamwork - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags help, insults, office workers, work, teams

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Man: Do you need any help on your project? Dilbert: No, I try to avoid the scourge of teamwork when-ever possible. Man: Isn't there any way I can be of service? Dilbert: Maybe you could offer to help someone I hate.

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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Wally Has Higher Income

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Wally Has Higher Income - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags lying, managers & supervisors, money, office workers, bribe, salary

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Wally: Now that I'm the boss's new pet employee, my income is higher than ever. Dilbert: I didn't realize it came with a raise. Wally: It's more of an indirect thing. Man: I'll give you $100 to tell the boss good things about me. Wally: My price for lying is $200.

New Cubicles

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New Cubicles - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, cubicle

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boss: are you enjoying your new cubicles? alice: my old cubicle had a window view. my new cubicle is in a windowless room with gray walls. it's always too cold, and i'm surrounded by noisy people i dislike. i feel anxious, unhealthy, and depressed all day long. thanks to the office relocation, my life has become a rapid descent into madness. boss: on the plus side, we saved five precent in rent. no one ever likes to hear about the plus side.

Ai That Creates Comics

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Ai That Creates Comics - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Comic Strip, inventions, sarcasm, technology, creativity

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Dilbert: I invented an A.I. that can create comic strips. Boss: Pffft! That's impossible. No machine will ever match the creative genius of human cartoonists. Dilbert: This one is about a guy who thinks his boss is dumb. Boss: No one wants to read that.

Below Average

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Below Average - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, engineering, jobs, math, sarcasm, review

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Boss: Your job performance is below average. Dilbert: How did you calculate an average for a job that no one else has ever performed? Boss: Math?

App For Random Praise

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App For Random Praise - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, cell phone, criticism, office, praise

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the boss: i've stopped trying to understand what you do all day long. the boss: now i use an app that reminds me at random times to praise you or to criticize you. alice: that is the dumbest thing you have ever done. the bosses cell phone: ping! the boss: keep up the good work!

Doctor Appointment

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Doctor Appointment - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, doctor, office, office workers, medical advice, essential oil, attitude, kava

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carol: i have a doctor's appointment today. the boss: doctor? bah! the boss: all you need are some essential oils and a supplement or two. carol: has anyone ever survived your medical advice? the boss: some kava could fix your attitude problem.

Wally Has Best Excuse

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Wally Has Best Excuse - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, business, office, office workers, success

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wally: i was tempted to succeed this week, but i caught myself in time. wally: success would improve my odds of mating, and i don't think you want more people like me in this world. the boss: that is officially the best excuse for not working that i have ever heard. wally: shhh! don't compliment me in public!

Wally And The Management Track

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Wally And The Management Track - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, office, office workers

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wally: how can i get on the management track? catbert: are you kidding me? catbert: you are the most useless employee i have ever seen. all you do is walk around and bother people who are trying to work. wally: are you saying i can't get on the management track? catbert: i'm saying you're already on it.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags failure, inventions, office workers, power, science, success

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Dilbert: I predict fusion power will be a big deal in fifteen years. Man: Fusion reactors are impossible to build and always will be. Dilbert: Then why are a dozen startups working on it? Man: Everyone who ever tried to create a fusion reactor has failed so far. Dilbert: Thomas Edison failed many times at making a useful incandescent light bulb before he succeeded. Would you have advised him to give up after the first ten failed attempts? I eagerly await your irrational response. Man: Incandescent bulbs are bad for the environment. Dilbert: And there it is.