Exit Door Comic Strips - Page 3
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View 21 - 30 results for exit door comic strips. Discover the best "Exit Door" comics from Dilbert.com.
Dilbert: In my spare time I created some awesome new features for our product. Boss: GAAA!!! Shut the door! Dilbert: What?!! Boss: You fool! If my boss finds out you have spare time, he'll think we're overstaffed! You can never speak of these awesome new features again. Dilbert: I'm confused. You told me I need to go above and beyond my job description to get the highest performance rating. Boss: That's just something I say to keep you from getting a healthy raise. Dilbert: So... I lose no matter what I do? Boss: For what it's worth, you're doing better than our customers.
Dogbert says, "I'm writing fake press releases for imaginary new green energy technologies." Computer says, "Scientists say that by 2040 you will be able to power your entire home with the breeze from your refrigerator door." Dilbert says, "Now how will I know which green breakthroughs are real?" Dogbert says, "Seriously? You think there are real ones?"
Coworker says, "Wally do you have a minute?" Wally says, "Nope I'm far too busy." Coworker says, "I'm blocking the only exit. You have no choice but to answer my question." Coworker says, "I blocked the air vent too." Wally says, "Well played."
Wally says, "What's more important- our core systems or our key processes?" Wally says, "If there's no clear answer to that question, I'll continue to act randomly." The Boss says, "Get out of my office." Wally says, "The open door policy probably looked good on paper."
Woman says, "I judge potential mates by their cell phone apps. Hand it over." Woman says, "You have an app that does nothing but hurl pirate insults. That is so stupid. This date is over." Cell Phone says, "Don't let the door hit you in the booty. Aaaargh!"
Company lawyer man says, "The company owns Dilbertfiles.com and all of its I.P. Because you created it at work." man says, "So you'll need to pay us a royalty every time you use the name 'Dilbert'" Dilbert says, "How did you get in my house?" man says, "There's a loophole in your door."
Wally: I don't hold any grudges about being fired for hanging a comic on the wall. The company will be fine without my secret and exclusive knowledge of the critical systems. If the framistan starts to gabol, just purge the cache within sixty seconds and the servers won't explode.
CatBert: People are complaining about how you use your security card. "We'd appreciate it if you didn't keep it in your front pocket and thrust it at the door sensor." Wally: "I didn't know the security card was why the door opened."