Face Front Comic Strips - Page 3
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721 Results for Face Front
View 21 - 30 results for face front comic strips. Discover the best "Face Front" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday October 12,
2020
People Enjoy Context
Tags managers & supervisors, video conference, zoom, customer, self, human, sarcasm, face mask
Transcript
boss: when you schedule the zoom call with the customer, be sure to include me. dilbert: do you plan to use up all of our time talking about yourself? boss: people enjoy context. dilbert: it's as if you have never met a human.
Sunday October 11,
2020
Building Codes
Tags managers & supervisors, business, lab, construction, building, codes, stringent, guarantee, rain, mayor, campaign, sarcasm, face mask, false, hope, phase
Transcript
boss: how's the new lab construction going? dilbert: i'm having some issues with the local building codes. they seem unnecessarily stringent. for example, we have to guarantee no rain touches the roof. boss: why? dilbert: no on knows. but if we donate to the mayor's campaign, the city will designate the roof a "horizontal wall." boss: and then we can begin construction? dilbert: no, that's just the beginnning of the false hope phrase.
Saturday October 10,
2020
Asok Is Overpaid
Tags managers & supervisors, business, project, technology, time, pay, argue, math, face mask, salary
Transcript
asok: i finished my project in half the projected time. boss: that means i'm paying you twice as much as you deserve. asok: i don't think it means that at all. boss: you look dumb arguing with math.
Friday October 09,
2020
Wally Helps Coworkers
Tags accomplish, business, claim, co-workers, critical, help, lie, managers & supervisors, problem, teamwork, validate, face mask
Transcript
boss: what did you accomplish this week? wally: i helped several of my co-workers solve critical problems. boss: and if i asked them to validate your claim? wally: they're all huge liars.
Thursday October 08,
2020
No Mask For Zoom Call
Sunday October 04,
2020
Golden Age For Wally
Tags 6 feet, avoid, coffee, eye contact, face mask, grocery shopping, office workers, social distancing, upgrade, Women
Transcript
wally at coffee pot talking to Dilbert:: social distancing has been a great upgrade to my life. in the old days, women avoided me by at least ten feet. now i often get within seven. i think it's because i'm better-looking with most of my face covered. especially if i wear a hat and sunglasses. and i learned that women will talk to me if i walk the wrong way down a grocery aisle. they're usually complaining but at least they make eye contact. it's sort of a golden age for people like me.
Saturday October 03,
2020
Proceed As If Nothing Happened
Tags accomplish, business, face mask, managers & supervisors, office workers, people, project, technology
Transcript
tina: why did you tell our boss i have the wrong people on my project? dilbert: i didn't say that. in fact, i don't even know what you project is trying to accomplish, much less who is working with you on it. will we now proceed as if you didn't hear me say that? tina upset: they are not the wrong people.
Thursday October 01,
2020
No Update Needed
Tags apathy, assignment, face mask, managers & supervisors, project, robot, sarcasm, technology, update
Transcript
asok: would you like an update on my project? boss: no, not really. i only give you the projects i don't care about. asok: i just lost my will to live. boss: that is exactly why i plan to replace you with a robot.
Tuesday September 29,
2020
Critics Not Intelligent
Tags intelligence, office workers, employees, smart, critics, agreement, face mask
Transcript
alice: i've noticed that none of my critics are intelligent. smart people always seem to agree with me. dilbert: what makes you think they are smart? alice: because they agree with me. i have to give you a maskless "duh" for that. alice pulls off face mask: duh!
Monday September 28,
2020
Quotes Out Of Context
Tags anger, business, context, dumb, employment, face mask, malice, managers & supervisors, out of context, project, quote, writing
Transcript
co-worker: i don't like what you wrote about my project, so i took one of your quotes out of context, to make you look dumb, and sent it to your boss. dilbert: that won't work, because once i explain the proper context, he will see there is nothing to it. later that day. dilbert: ...so, as you can see, that quote was out of context. boss yelling: liar!!!

