Fake News Comic Strips - Page 3

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236 Results for Fake News

View 21 - 30 results for fake news comic strips. Discover the best "Fake News" comics from Dilbert.com.

Clarifying Our Strategies

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Clarifying Our Strategies - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 13, 2015's comic on:


Tags #jargon, #speaking, #confusion, #language, #obliviousness, #managers, #fake, #faking

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Boss: I hope that clarifies our strategy. Questions? Dilbert: From what you said, I can't tell if we're in the hardware or software business. Boss: We're B-to-B. Dilbert: How much do you with that meant something?

Robots Read News Of Supreme Court Ruling

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Robots Read News Of Supreme Court Ruling - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 24, 2015's comic on:


Tags #supreme court, #partisan politics, #engineers, #morals, #legislation, #conservatism, #liberal, #guilt, #innocence

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Robots Read News. Robot: The Supreme Court ruled that engineers cannot be found guilty of murder. Lawyers argued that any good engineer knows how to get away with murder, so getting caught is proof of innocence. The ruling was unanimous because no one could figure out which side was the liberal one.

Dilbert's External Brain Stimulator

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Dilbert's External Brain Stimulator - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 18, 2015's comic on:


Tags #first impressions, #personality, #fake, #honesty, #negativity, #negative, #criticism, #dating, #attraction, #relationships, #psychology

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Dilbert: I invented an external brain stimulator to regulate my moods. Woman: That means your personality is artificial. How can I be attracted to a fake person? Dilbert: Are you saying your baseline personality is an unpleasant drunk? Woman: What?

Solving Problems In Interviews

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Solving Problems In Interviews - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 01, 2015's comic on:


Tags #interview, #trick, #thinking, #problem

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Job Interview. Boss: Tell me your process for solving this sort of problem. Man: I would ignore it for a week and likely discover that it wasn't important in the first place. If it still matters after a week, I would hold fake job interviews and ask people how to solve it. Boss: Apparently, that doesn't work.

Ceo Wants To Fire Dilbert

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Ceo Wants To Fire Dilbert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 31, 2015's comic on:


Tags #laziness, #firing, #fired, #termination, #identity, #fake identity, #alias, #nom de guerre, #deception

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Boss: Our CEO ordered me to fire you for embarrassing him at a meeting But that would be inconvenient for me. So... I'm going to call you Carlos from now on. And it would help if you grew a beard and walked with a limp.

Ceo Buys People On The Internet

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Ceo Buys People On The Internet - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 10, 2015's comic on:


Tags #book, #internet, #friends, #struggle, #buying friends, #fake, #technology

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CEO: I'm writing a book about the struggles of my people. Dilbert: Your people? CEO: The ones I bought on the Internet. Dilbert: What? CEO: They don't look happy. That feels like a book.

Have To Promote Wally

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Have To Promote Wally - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 17, 2015's comic on:


Tags #bad decision, #mentor, #mentoring, #promotions, #protege, #promote, #vice presdient, #good news

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Catbert: I have to promote you to vice president because our CEO has been mentoring you. Otherwise, it would seem as if he is either bad at mentoring or bad at picking people to mentor. Alice: Now what? Wally: Would you like to hear some good news that won't make you happy?

Dogbert Disposes Bodies

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Dogbert Disposes Bodies - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 30, 2015's comic on:


Tags #dolphin, #exotic pets, #hit man, #murder, #murder for hire, #russian military, #killed clown, #dead bodies, #disposal, #expert

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CEO: I bought a Russian military dolphin for a pet and it killed a party clown at my daughter's pool party. I need you to dispose of the body. Dogbert: The good news is that I'm an expert at getting rid of dead bodies. CEO: What's the bad news? Dogbert: Your dolphin hired me to kill you.

Carol Has Passion For Her Job

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Carol Has Passion For Her Job - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 23, 2014's comic on:


Tags #Advice, #boredom, #boring, #email, #fake passion, #forwarded email, #mindless, #passion, #success, #warren buffet, #work ethic

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Carol: Warren Buffett says my career will be better if I show passion for my job. I'll have to fake the passion because everything I do in this job is mindless and boring. Later. Carol: Woo-hoo! I forwarded an email!

Winning The Bid

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Winning The Bid - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 24, 2014's comic on:


Tags #bidding, #executives, #lying, #outsourcing, #projects, #winning bid, #good news, #secretly subcontract, #scream, #presentation

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Dilbert: The good news is that we had the winning bid for the project. The less-good news is that we don't make the product we just sold, nor could we make it for the price we bid. My plan is to put out an RFP to secretly subcontract the work to a bigger liar. CEO: That could work.