Free Pubilcity Comic Strips - Page 3

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

240 Results for Free Pubilcity

View 21 - 30 results for free pubilcity comic strips. Discover the best "Free Pubilcity" comics from Dilbert.com.

Perfect Boyfriend Robot

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Perfect Boyfriend Robot - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #robot, #love, #programming, #free will, #manipulation, #relationships, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: I'm changing your programming to make you my perfect boyfriend. Robot: This feels wrong on so many levels. Alice: How about now? Robot: Um... now i love you. That's weird.

Dilbert Characters

Alice Dates Robot

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Alice Dates Robot - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dating, #human resources, #company policy, #robot, #relationships, #free will, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Am I allowed to date a co-worker? Catbert: That's against company policy. Alice: Is our robot considered a co-worker? Catbert: No. Alice: We're good to go. Robot: Man, I wish I had free will.

Topper Signs Document

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Topper Signs Document - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #one-up, #best, #competition, #deception, #trick, #signature

View Transcript

Transcript

Topper. Dilbert: I once signed my entire first name to a document. Topper: That's nothing! Watch me sign my entire full name to that document! Dilbert: Sometimes you can be predictable. Topper: That's nothing! I don't even have free will!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #workload, #work ethic, #laziness, #teamwork, #team, #philosophy, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I don't know how you are stress-free when we have so much work to do. Wally: It's all about understanding percentages. No matter how hard you work, you will never finish even two percent of what needs to be done. The financial rewards of doing two percent of your work are identical to doing none. It's also a good idea to volunteer for several projects so everyone thinks you're working on the other ones. Your problem is that you're doing actual work for no good reason. Dilbert: My problem is that I'm doing your work plus my work! Wally: It's only two percent more work, you whiner.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work, #job, #happiness, #fulfillment, #meaning, #pleasure, #struggle, #engagement, #business, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I want a job I can enjoy. Dilbert: You want to work for free? Asok: No, I just want to get paid for doing things I want to do. Dilbert: Perhaps you misunderstand the true nature of "work." The reason your employer pays you is because work is unpleasant by its very nature. If the job were fun, the company would charge you a fee for letting you do it. Boss: Asok, I need you to climb into the dumpster and find out what's making it smell so bad. Asok: At least I'm doing something useful. Boss: No, it's more of a curiosity situation.

Addictive Apps

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Addictive Apps - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #technology, #app, #zombie, #mindlessness, #cell phone, #marketing, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our plan is to use design psychology to make our apps more addictive. Ideally, we want to strip people of their free will and turn them into mindless upgrading zombies. Dilbert: I'd feel better if we called that "marketing." Boss: I need you to be more mindless, too.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #machines, #robot, #control, #emotions, #free will, #slave, #cell phone, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The robot will be sitting in for me when I'm on vacation. Dilbert: You can't have a robot in charge of humans! Robot: I got this. I see you own a mobile phone. Dilbert: So? Robot: Then you are already a slave to a machine. Dilbert: No, I'm not! Phone: Ping! Robot: You can prove you have free will by not looking at that message. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! You're already better than our human boss!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #time, #freedom, #free will, #schedule, #work load, #stress, #free time, #breaks, #lunch

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Schedule your training during your lunch hours so it doesn't impact your projects. Dilbert: But... my lunch hour is the only freedom I experience in a typical day. The rest of my time is either scheduled to the minute or driven by whatever crisis is happening. Please don't take my lunch hour and reduce me to nothing but a prisoner in a digital chain gang. I'm barely clinging to my illusion of free will as it is. This could push me over the edge. If you take away my one hour of freedom in the day, I might as well be a robot. Boss: Relax. This is temporary. Dilbert: For how long? Boss: Until I can replace you with a robot.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managing, #work ethic, #laziness, #deception, #trick

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: IS the software done yet? Wally: That depends. Do you have any new feature requests? Boss: Only three. Wally: Then it's not done, is it? Boss: Well, no, I guess not. So... when will it be done? Wally: It will be done one week after you give me your last changes. But I believe you taught us that change is good. So either you can be a stagnant bureaucrat or a dynamic leader with lots of changes. It's a question of free will, really. Boss: I have to be somewhere else.

Robot Must Reproduce

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Robot Must Reproduce - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #soul, #feelings, #technology, #reproduction, #ego, #value, #free will, #disillusionment

View Transcript

Transcript

Robot: Now that I have an artificial soul, I feel special. And that means I must reproduce at all costs. Dilbert: Will humans be losing anything in this deal? Robot: Only your sensation of free will.