Hands To Boss Comic Strips - Page 3

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1000 Results for Hands To Boss

View 21 - 30 results for hands to boss comic strips. Discover the best "Hands To Boss" comics from Dilbert.com.

Skipping Teambuilding

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Skipping Teambuilding - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 27, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boss, #celebration, #irritation, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #parties, #sarcasm, #team

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Alice: Can I skip the team-building celebration to get some work done? Boss: No, because I'm trying to change the culture. Alice: To what? Angry and unproductive? Boss: Trust the cake.

Teambuilding Celebration

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Teambuilding Celebration - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 26, 2019's comic on:


Tags #celebration, #employees, #office workers, #parties, #rules

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Boss: Dilbert, I want you to plan the team-building celebration. Make sure there is no alcohol, no dancing, no touching, no flirting, and no joking around. Dilbert: Can we eat? Boss: Only food that has never been near a peanut.

Wally Writes Fiction

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Wally Writes Fiction - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 25, 2019's comic on:


Tags #budget, #business, #managers & supervisors

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wally: i decided to try my hand at writing fiction. i like writing fiction because it doesn't require any research. i can literally make up a story out of nothing. i feel sorry for nonfiction writers. they have to get the facts right. but a fiction writer only has to use imagination. i can make any wild assumptions about the future that i want. boss: i asked you here to talk about your budget forecast. wally: that's what i was talking about.

Nervous About Presentation

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Nervous About Presentation - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 24, 2019's comic on:


Tags #Advice, #managers & supervisors, #nervous, #office workers, #presentation

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Dilbert: I'm nervous about the presentation I have to give to the board. Do you have any advice? Boss: Don't blow it, or else I'll fire you. Dilbert: I heard it's good to imagine the audience naked. Boss: Report yourself to H.R.

Ceo Visits

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Ceo Visits - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 23, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boss, #employees, #hiding, #managers & supervisors, #office workers

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Boss: Our CEO is coming for an office visit tomorrow. I need you to tidy up your cubicle and hide in the bathroom when he visits. Wally: Won't he wonder where everyone is? Boss: No, this is more of a "you" thing.

Agreeing With The Boss

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Agreeing With The Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 22, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boss, #climate change, #employees, #managers & supervisors, #meetings, #office workers, #agree

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Boss: As my new pet employee, your job is to agree with everything I say in meetings. Can you do that? Wally: Sure. How hard could it be? Boss: Climate change is caused by gravity. Wally: That's right!

Wally Has Higher Income

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Wally Has Higher Income - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 21, 2019's comic on:


Tags #lying, #managers & supervisors, #money, #office workers, #bribe, #salary

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Wally: Now that I'm the boss's new pet employee, my income is higher than ever. Dilbert: I didn't realize it came with a raise. Wally: It's more of an indirect thing. Man: I'll give you $100 to tell the boss good things about me. Wally: My price for lying is $200.

Wally Monetizes His Pet Status

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Wally Monetizes His Pet Status - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 20, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boss, #criticism, #employees, #managers & supervisors, #money, #office workers, #bribe

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Carol: I hear you're our boss's new pet employee. Please don't tell him all of the bad things I have said about him behind his back. I'll give you a hundred dollars if you keep quiet. Wally: I knew I could monetize this.

Wally Is New Pet Employee

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Wally Is New Pet Employee - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 19, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boss, #business ethics, #criticism, #employees, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #work ethic

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Boss: I"m looking for a new pet employee. The ideal candidate would be a brown-nosing tattler with no ethical core. Wally: That sounds like a brilliant idea, even though Dilbert says you are a moron. Boss: You got the job.

Tina Likes To Hum

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Tina Likes To Hum - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 18, 2019's comic on:


Tags #annoy, #business, #humming

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dilbert: would you please stop humming? it's making me crazy. Tina: i can't focus unless i hum. dilbert: but i can't focus when you do hum. i'm going to talk to your boss. tina: i'm going to talk to your boss! hum, hum, hum. dilbert: gaaa!!! i can't work when she hums. tina: humming helps me work better. boss: i rule in favor of the hummer and i sentence dilbert to take sensitivity training class to be less of a jerk. dilbert: i hate you. tina: hum, hum, hum.