Hard Data Comic Strips - Page 3

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

513 Results for Hard Data

View 21 - 30 results for hard data comic strips. Discover the best "Hard Data" comics from Dilbert.com.

Everyone But Ted

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Everyone But Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, project, success, thank, twice, hear, slow, coffee, sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert video conferencing: i'd like to thank everyone who made the project a huge success. except for ted, who made everything twice as hard as it needed to be. ted: i can hear you. dilbert: you're slowing us down again, ted.

Applying Math To Guesses

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Applying Math To Guesses - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business ethics, managers & supervisors, employment, business, analysis, discount rate, installation, maintenance, project, technology, math, guess, sarcasm, face mask

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: how confident are you in your analysis? dilbert: very confident. boss: good. dilbert: unless i used the wrong discount rate, which is hard to know. boss: but otherwise, it's solid? dilbert: except for the installation and maintenance costs, which are wild guesses. and we don't know if we sized the project right, so costs could be double or triple. boss: it sounds as if you applied math to a bunch of wild guesses. dilbert: yes, but i got the result you wanted. boss: next time, just say that.

Humans Making Decisions

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Humans Making Decisions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags biases, business, data, decision, guessing, human nature, making, primitive, psychology, reason, sarcasm, superstitions, technology, science

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: when humans were primitive and dumb, they used their superstitions and biases to make decisions. eventually, science won out, and we evolved to use data and reason to make decisions. dogbert: how'd that work out? dilbert: not so good. it turns out that all of our data are unreliable and conflicting. and we don't have the mental capacity to use reason. dogbert: it's still better than guessing. dilbert: how do you know that? dogbert: you are hard to talk to.

Boss Doesn't Understand

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
  Boss Doesn't Understand - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, technology, server, migration, difficult, understand, question, face maks

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: can you finish the server migration by monday? dilbert: no way. boss: how hard can it be? dilbert: you only say that about things you don't understand. boss: i ask that question every day. dilberty: yup.

Manage With Data

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Manage With Data - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags analysis, business, data, face maks, leadership, manage, managers & supervisors, paralysis, technology, useable

View Transcript

Transcript

boss wearing face mask: we need to manage with data! dilbert wearing face mask: do we have any useful data? boss: not really. dilbert: so...actually we need to get data before we can use data. boss: we don't have time for your analysis paralysis! dilbert: i think you're taking both sides of the same argument. you insist on using data, but you don't want to wait for data. boss: it's called leadership. you wouldn't understand. dilbert: oh, i think i do. boss: stop being such a mask hole.

All Data Is Wrong

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
All Data Is Wrong - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, co-workers, data, Entertainment, experts, guess, horoscope, inaccurate, new study, office workers, pandemic, sarcasm, face mask, covid

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert and dogbert watching tv. tv: a new study shows that all data about everything is wrong. experts advised using horoscopes and guesswork to make decisions. dilbert: my co-workers already do that. dogbert: they were ahead of their time.

Credible Data

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Credible Data - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, sarcasm, technology, credible, data, problem, test, good

View Transcript

Transcript

alice: i finished the data throughput tests, but the results are not credible because of a problem with the test. boss: does the non-credible data make us look good? alice: yes. boss: our name for that kind of data is "credible."

Real Data

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Real Data  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags decision, office workers, sarcasm, dumb, facts

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: We need to make decisions based on real data! Dilbert: Who do you imagine disagrees with that obvious statement? Man: Uh-oh. I just realized I'm dumb and never knew it. Dilbert: I hear it can sneak up on you.

Shocking Fake Video

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Shocking Fake Video - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags insults, obliviousness, videos, conspiracy

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Did you see the shocking claims in the video I emailed to you? Dilbert: Yes. The video is so obviously fake that only a raging moron would think any of it is true. Boss: I think it's all true. Dilbert: Welp, that's one data point in my favor.

Believing Experts

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Believing Experts - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags debates, Opinion, expert, facts, current events, Politics

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Haha! You idiot! How dare you dis-agree with the foremost experts in this field! Dilbert: Here's a breaking story about those same experts being arrested today for falsifying data. In a sane world, this information would serve to modify your strong opinion. Man: That's not how any of this works.