Hard On Survivors Comic Strips - Page 3

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

327 Results for Hard On Survivors

View 21 - 30 results for hard on survivors comic strips. Discover the best "Hard On Survivors" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dilbert Gets A Mentor

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Gets A Mentor - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, Advice, mentor, productivity, operations, vice president, pressure, trick

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i heard you asked our v.p. of operations to be your mentor. why didn't you tell me you needed some mentoring? i'm full of useful advice. dilbert: such as? boss: well... not you're putting me on the spot. it's hard to think of advice while you're pressuring me. maybe you could give me a scenario, and then i'll tell you what to do. dilbert: okay, suppose my boss is ruining my productivity by yammering about his great advice. what can i do? boss: that feels like a trick question. dilbert: our v.p. of operations could answer it.

The Best Way To Succeed

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
The Best Way To Succeed - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, office workers, success, delegate

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: the best way to succeed in this world is through hard work dilbert: is that the way you did it? boss: no, i used the second-best way dilbert: which is... boss: making other people work hard

Wally Compared To A Placebo

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Compared To A Placebo - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, project, failure, coincidence, placebo, insult

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: wally, i've noticed that every project you have worked on has failed. is that a coincidence? wally: it's hard to know. unless you compare me to a placebo. boss: okay, you're worse than a placebo. wally: i thought that would take longer.

Agreeing With The Boss

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Agreeing With The Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, climate change, employees, managers & supervisors, meetings, office workers, agree

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: As my new pet employee, your job is to agree with everything I say in meetings. Can you do that? Wally: Sure. How hard could it be? Boss: Climate change is caused by gravity. Wally: That's right!

Poor Communication Skills

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Poor Communication Skills - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags communication, employees, office, office workers, questions, projects

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Would you like to be on my project team? Dilbert: Hard pass. Your communication skills are so poor that the project is doomed to failure. Man: I meant to say your boss already assigned you to my project. Dilbert: We're off to a good start.

When Can You Meet

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
When Can You Meet - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, meetings, office workers

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: when can you meet tomorrow? alice: anytime. dilbert: how about 2 pm? alice: no, that doesn't work. dilbert: i guess we're going to do this the hard way.

Half Are Doing All The Work

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Half Are Doing All The Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, employees, employment, fire, work

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: according to experts, about half of all employees are typically doing 100% of the work. i plan to beat the system by firing half of you. dilbert: wouldn't you need to keep firing half of whoever was left until you were down to one employee? boss: yes, but imagine how hard he will work.

Measuring Excellence

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Measuring Excellence - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office, excellence

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert, the boss and wally at conference room table. the boss: we opened our first "center of excellence" today. the boss: at the risk of sounding too optimistic, we should be brimming with excellence by nightfall. dilbert: how will we know if is working? the boss: it's better if we don't try too hard to measure it.

Go Hard Or Go Home

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Go Hard Or Go Home - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, business, inspirational quote

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: your inspirational quote of the day is... next frame is outside of office building: "go hard or go home." the boss in empty conference room: i shouldn't have made it sound like a choice.

Nuclear Power Invention

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Nuclear Power Invention - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags money, office, office workers, nuclear power

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: i invented a new type of nuclear power that has zero risk. dilbert: it can be built in one day for less that a thousand dollars and it can power a small city. the boss visually upset and yelling: get that thing out of here! dilbert: i expect it will be hard to sell.