Hate Comic Strips - Page 3

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264 Results for Hate

View 21 - 30 results for hate comic strips. Discover the best "Hate" comics from Dilbert.com.

Show Interest In Employees

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Show Interest In Employees - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags appointment, business, doctor, employees, hate, interest, leave, life, managers & supervisors, prank, question

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alice: i have a doctor appointment. boss: what's wrong with you? alice yelling: that's none of your stinkin' business! stay our of my life! boss to catbert: didn't you advise me to show interest in my employees? catbert: i was pranking you. they hate that.

Working On Vacation

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Working On Vacation - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, work, vacation, scold, enjoy, behind, train, broken

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dilbert: do you mind if i come to work on my vacation days? i hate being scolded for being behind in my work more that i enjoy taking vacations. boss: it seems i have trained you well. dilbert: no, i'm just broken.

No Time Before Next Meeting

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No Time Before Next Meeting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, business, care, co-workers, hate, job, lesson, meeting, nonesence, procrastinate, reality, report, stupid, technical, technology, time

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dilbert thinking: that meeting ran long, so now i have ten minutes before the next one. i'm suppose to bring a complete technical report, and i haven't even started it. i hate this stupid job! dilbert still thinking but showing signs of distress: i hate my boss! i hate my stupid co-workers! dilbert yelling: i don't care about anything anymore! dilbert thinking and typing on laptop: i'll just angrily slap together a bunch of nonsense and call it good. grrrrrr!!! in conference room. boss: this is your bet report ever. dilbert yelling: what? dilbert at home with dogbert: today i learned a dangerous lesson about reality.

Time Stands Still

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Time Stands Still - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, phone, search, time, bored, Win, still

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dogbert: i discovered a way to make time stand still. dilbert: that isn't possible. dogbert: i'll prove it. i just need to find something on my phone and show it to you. looking... looking... here it is! wait... no, that isn't it. looking... looking... dilbert distressed: gaaa! i'm so bored watching you look through your phone!!! time is standing still! you win...and i hate you. dogbert: totally worth it.

Elbonian Consultant

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Elbonian Consultant - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, business, consultant, elbonia, people, local, problem, distribution, execute, Opinion, barber

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boss: i hired an elbonian consultant because we couldn't afford anyone local. dilbert: have you ever consulted in this country? elbonian consultant: no, but people are people, so i assume it isn't that different from elbonia. boss: that's enough chitchat. tell us what we should do about the problems in our distribution system. elbonian system: i recommend executing one of your distributors as a warning to the others. boss: i'm going to need a second opinion. elbonian consultant: my second opinion is that your barber must hate your guts.

Reporting To Two Managers

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Reporting To Two Managers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, reporting, vp of sales, project, business, hate

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boss: dilbert, you'll be reporting to the vp of sales for the new project. you will also be reporting to me as usual. dilbert: congratulations on making me hate my job more than ever. boss: and you said it couldn't be done.

Dilbert Is Bad At Reading Faces

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Dilbert Is Bad At Reading Faces - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office workers, psychology, over sleeping, pancakes, hungry

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dilbert: i'm not good at reading faces. what does that one mean? man: it means i'm mad at myself for over sleeping and having to rush to work, so i hate your guts. dilbert: oh. i was guessing it was something about pancakes. probably because i'm hungry.

Scourge Of Teamwork

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Scourge Of Teamwork - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags help, insults, office workers, work, teams

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Man: Do you need any help on your project? Dilbert: No, I try to avoid the scourge of teamwork when-ever possible. Man: Isn't there any way I can be of service? Dilbert: Maybe you could offer to help someone I hate.

Tina Likes To Hum

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Tina Likes To Hum - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags annoy, business, humming

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dilbert: would you please stop humming? it's making me crazy. Tina: i can't focus unless i hum. dilbert: but i can't focus when you do hum. i'm going to talk to your boss. tina: i'm going to talk to your boss! hum, hum, hum. dilbert: gaaa!!! i can't work when she hums. tina: humming helps me work better. boss: i rule in favor of the hummer and i sentence dilbert to take sensitivity training class to be less of a jerk. dilbert: i hate you. tina: hum, hum, hum.

Birds Cause Hurricanes

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Birds Cause Hurricanes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, ceo, research, nonsense, hurricans, birds, noted, polar bears, hate, snow

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CEO: I don't know enough about climate change to sound smart when people talk about it. Boss: Try doing your own research. That's how I learned that hurricanes are caused by birds. CEO: Write that down for me. Boss: And did you know polar bear hate snow?