Have Raise Comic Strips - Page 3

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View 21 - 30 results for have raise comic strips. Discover the best "Have Raise" comics from Dilbert.com.

Empathy Sensor

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 Empathy Sensor - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 23, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #empathy, #feelings, #office workers, #psychology, #sad, #sensor, #story, #face mask

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tina wearing face mask: you did not have sufficient empathy when i told you my sad story. dilbert wearing face mask: how could you possible measure my internal feelings of empathy? tina: i used my empathy sensor. dilbert: that's a stapler.

Carol's Hate Jealousy

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 Carol's Hate Jealousy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 21, 2020's comic on:


Tags #office workers, #pandemic, #business, #anger, #writing, #novel, #write, #ambitious, #intense, #hate, #jealously, #encouragement, #die, #covid, #lane

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dilbert and carol wearing face masks. dilbert: i'm thinking about writing a novel. carol yelling: stay in your lane! i'm not ambitious and i have intense hate-jealousy for anyone who is! dilbert: i was looking for some encouragement. carol: die! die! die!

Who Started The Rumor

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Who Started The Rumor  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 16, 2020's comic on:


Tags #accused, #business, #covid, #fired, #job, #managers & supervisors, #motive, #office workers, #pandemic, #racism, #replacement, #rumor, #unjust, #white supremacist

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boss, alice and dilbert wearing face masks. boss: i have been unjustly accused of being a white supremacist, and my boss just fired me for it. alice is the obvious choice to take my job, so i assume you will hear something on that soon. i wish i knew who had the motive to start that rumor and get me fired.

Boss Fired For Being White Supremacist

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Boss Fired For Being White Supremacist  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 15, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #racism, #fired, #employees, #white supremacist, #apathy, #career, #punch, #witness, #denial

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ceo: i have to fire you because employees are saying you are a white supremacist. boss: but i'm not. ceo: doesn't matter. i care more about my career than your life. boss: you're firing me just to look good? ceo: and i'll need to punch you in front of witnesses.

Boss Follows Racists On Twitter

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 Boss Follows Racists On Twitter - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 14, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #covid, #follow, #managers & supervisors, #pandemic, #proof, #racists, #reports, #staff, #twitter, #white supremacist

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ceo: i'm getting reports from your staff that you're a white supremacist. boss wearing face mask and drinking coffee: but i'm not. ceo: we have proof because you follow racists on twitter. boss: what makes you think they are racists? ceo: because they follow you on twitter.

Boss Is White Supremacist

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Boss Is White Supremacist   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 13, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #complaint, #covid, #denial, #envy, #managers & supervisors, #members, #pandemic, #staff, #system, #white supremacist

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catbert: members of your staff have complained that you are a white supremacist. boss wearing face mask: but...i'm not. catbert: that's not for you to decide. boss: who gets to decide? catbert: people who want your job. it's not a perfect system.

Cooties Contact Tracing

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Cooties Contact Tracing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 01, 2020's comic on:


Tags #2 weeks, #contact, #cooties, #doctor, #doctors' offices, #infect, #physical, #tracing, #Women, #zero

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doctor: we need to do contact tracing to determine who else you might have infected with cooties. how may women have you had physical contact with in the past two weeks? dilbert: i'd rather not say. doctor: i'll put you down for zero.

Cooties Diagnosis

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Cooties Diagnosis - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 30, 2020's comic on:


Tags #confirmed, #cooties, #diagnosis, #doctor, #medicine, #Opinion, #professional, #skepticism, #symptom, #test

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doctor: in my professional opinion, you have a bad case of the cooties. we don't have any tests for cooties, but the main symptom is skepticism, and you have that. dilbert: cooties are not real. doctor: diagnosis confirmed.

Anecdotal Testing

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Anecdotal Testing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 22, 2020's comic on:


Tags #boss, #business, #confused, #engineering, #sarcasm, #tests

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Boss: Have you tested this to know it will work? Dilbert: I tested it anecdotally. Boss: I don't know what that word means. Wally: Well played.

Two Bad Options

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Two Bad Options - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 21, 2020's comic on:


Tags #big business, #business, #business ethics, #business failures/bankruptcies, #hide, #managers & supervisors, #options, #analysis, #corporate

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Dilbert: I analyzed our only two options. One option costs too much, and the other option is impossible. Boss: Let's do the impossible one. Dilbert: Perhaps you can explain your reasoning. Boss: According to you, we will fail either way. But if we fail in a slow and inexpensive way, no one will even notice for months. With any luck, we'll have a corporate reorganization that forever hides our gross incompetence. Dilbert: Have you done this before? Boss: Every six months.