High Level Jobs Comic Strips - Page 3

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

368 Results for High Level Jobs

View 21 - 30 results for high level jobs comic strips. Discover the best "High Level Jobs" comics from Dilbert.com.

Wally Uses Deep Fake

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Uses Deep Fake - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #video, #conference, #call, #technology, #elbonian, #affordable

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: i liked what you said on the video conference call yesterday. i've never seen you so engaged and helpful. wally: that wasn't me. that was "deep fake wally." i created him to do all of my video calls. and i hired an elbonian to do all my coding jobs for a very affordable price. wally: these days. i only come to the office for the free coffee. dilbert: and the camaraderie? wally: sure.

Saying You Are Dumb

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Saying You Are Dumb  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #job, #change, #technology, #dumb, #imply, #product

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert's tech support ted: i can't figure out how to use your product. what should i do? dogbert: i recommend changing jobs to something less challenging. ted: are you saying i'm dumb? dogbert's once from phone: no. no. no. i'm only implying it.

Time Travel By Printer

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Time Travel By Printer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #presentation, #technolgy, #molecular, #scan, #body, #brain, #time travel, #3d print, #meeting

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert giving a presentation: i invented a device that can scan your body and brain at molecular level. now you can time travel by killing yourself and leaving instructions to 3d-print you back to life in the future when the technology is able. response: where will you find anyone dumb enough to test it? dilbert: have you ever attended a meeting at this company?

Boss Recommends Blockchain

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Recommends Blockchain - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #business, #computer software, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I don't understand why you are recommending blockchain for this application. Boss: My staff are the experts, but I can explain the basic idea. You see, using blockchain is like losing a necklace on the beach. Then a seagull finds the necklace and takes it back to it's nest. And we all like data security, don't we? CEO: It's almost as if you are proposing a plan you don't understand at any level. Boss: Well, yes, but keep in mind that you wouldn't understand it even if I could explain it. CEO: But you're sure someone on your staff understands it, right? Boss: Define "sure".

No One Is Taking Advice

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
No One Is Taking Advice - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Advice, #confidence, #employees, #jobs, #office workers, #youth

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: I keep telling people how to do their jobs, but no one takes my advice. Wally: Maybe that's because you are so inexperienced that you don't realize how bad your advice is. That's ridiculous. How could I be so wrong and yet feel so confident? Wally: I miss being young.

Inexperienced Employee Advice

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Inexperienced Employee Advice - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #criticism, #employees, #irritation, #office workers, #sarcasm, #experience, #arrogant

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Hi, I'm an inexperienced employee who tells experienced employees how to do their jobs. I compensate for my lack of experience with a thing called arrogance. Dilbert: That sounds worth-less. Man: Oh, yeah? Then why does every company have one of me?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #apple, #criticism, #employees, #employment, #managers & supervisors, #steve jobs, #work

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I've decided to be more like Steve Jobs. I want all of you to work day and night or else I will humiliate you in front of your peers. Dilbert: I quit. Alice: I quit. Boss: Would it work better if I wore a black shirt?

Homeless Employees

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Homeless Employees - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #concern, #cost, #employees, #homeless persons, #office workers, #pretend

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: We need to do something about our employees being homeless. Housing costs are too high around here. Boss: Maybe we could pay them more. Dogbert: I was thinking more along the lines of pretending to be concerned. Boss: I like where you're going with this.

Housing Costs

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Housing Costs - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cost, #discussion, #homeless persons, #house

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Housing costs are so high that I had to move into a restroom stall. Man: I live in the park under a pile of wet cardboard. Asok: Have you tried a stall? Man: No, I'm too outdoorsy for that.

Asok Lives In The Office

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Asok Lives In The Office - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #cost, #criticism, #house, #office, #office workers, #expectations

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: All of you should be more like Asok. He is in the office before I arrive and still here when I go home. Asok: That is because housing costs are so high that I live here in the office and sleep in a bathroom stall. Boss: That still leaves a lot of stalls for the rest of you.