Hire Emplyees Comic Strips - Page 3

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

183 Results for Hire Emplyees

View 21 - 30 results for hire emplyees comic strips. Discover the best "Hire Emplyees" comics from Dilbert.com.

Criminal Does Tech Support

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Criminal Does Tech Support - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #market, #competitive, #career, #criminal, #internal, #tech support, #passwords, #software, #justice, #fist

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I know the job market is highly competitive, but was it really a good idea to hire a career criminal? The Boss: Relax. He's just doing internal tech support. Paul: I'll need all of your passwords to update your software. Alice: Have you met my fist of justice?

Introducing The New Hire

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Introducing The New Hire - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the boss, #new hire, #names, #introduction

View Transcript

Transcript

The New Hire New Hire: Can you take me around the office and introduce me? The Boss: No, that scheme won't work because it requires me to admit I don't know most of their names. New Hire: What's my name? The Boss: Um... Does it start with a letter?

Contractor Wants To Be Employee

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Contractor Wants To Be Employee - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #negotiation, #contract work, #contractor, #pay.wages

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: I've been a contractor here for over a year. Maybe you should just hire me. Boss: Who are you? I didn't even know I was paying you. Man: Perhaps we can pretend this conversation never happened. Boss: That feels like the best option.

Ted Cross Trains

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ted Cross Trains - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cross-training, #fired, #firing, #unemployment

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Ted, I need you to train the new hire how to do your job. Ted: Are you firing me? Boss: No, no. Just standard cross-training. Ted: Okay, I was worried for a second there. Boss: And start tidying up your cubicle.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #competition, #replacement, #hiring, #job description

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Wally, I need you to write up your job description for me. Wally: Is that because you're planning to hire someone to replace me? Boss: I need it by tomorrow. Wally: Job description: leverage platform technologies to maximize software architecture optimization via nanotubes. Here you go. Boss: Can you start on Monday? Man: I changed my mind.

Terrible Personality

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Terrible Personality - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hiring, #company culture, #personality, #engineers, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Which one of the engineering candidates should I hire? Dilbert: Both are highly experienced, but one has a terrible personality. Boss: Sounds like a perfect fit. Dilbert: I told him to expect an offer.

Moth Man Keeps Popping In

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Moth Man Keeps Popping In - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #conversation, #talking, #frustration, #workload, #annoyance

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I can't get any work done because the storytelling mothman keeps popping in to my cubicle uninvited. Why did you hire a storytelling mothman in the first place? Was it not obvious this would happen? Boss: Everyone's a genius in hindsight.

Erik Used To Work For The Cia

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Erik Used To Work For The Cia - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #surveillance, #cia, #technology, #spying, #privacy

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: This is our new hire, Erik. He used to be a computer programmer for the CIA. Dilbert: Hi, I'm Dilbert. Erik: I know. I've been watching you through your devices for years. Dilbert: You what? Erik: Um... I mean, hi!

Fairness Is For Kids And Idiots

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Fairness Is For Kids And Idiots - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fair, #fairness, #wages, #equality, #worth, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The new hire gets paid more than me. It isn't fair. Dogbert: Fairness is a concept that was invented so kids and idiots could participate in debates. Dilbert: Hey, that's not fair. Dogbert: The best case scenario here is that you're younger than you look.

New Hire Makes More

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
New Hire Makes More - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #wages, #salary, #compensation, #fairness, #negotiation, #confrontation, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I just found out that the new hire makes more than I do. Boss: It isn't my fault that you're a terrible negotiator. Dilbert: I don't like confrontation. Boss: I know. It saves me a lot of money. Shoo!