History Of Glue Comic Strips - Page 3

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64 Results for History Of Glue

View 21 - 30 results for history of glue comic strips. Discover the best "History Of Glue" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #discussion, #how-to, #obstinacy, #rules of leadership, #context, #books, #different approach, #real leaders, #magic formula, #gullible baboon, #throughout history, #random book, #Entertainment

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Boss: I'm reading a great management book about the rules of leadership. Dilbert: Allow me to put that in context. There are probably 10,000 books about leadership, and each one has a different approach. And there are millions of real leaders, of which no two are alike. Moreover, every situation is unique and requires a different type of leader. And yet this one author has found a magic formula to transform you from a gullible baboon into a great leader. And that makes sense because all great leaders throughout history achieved success by reading a random book. Boss: I don't like context. Dilbert: It isn't popular.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #death & dying, #internet & world wide web, #extreme sports, #basejump, #space station, #machine learning, #inetrnational

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Computer: Based on your internet history, you might be dumb enough to enjoy extreme sports. Click here to buy a ticket to base jump from the International Space Station. Boss: I think the internet is trying to kill me. Dilbert: We call it "machine learning."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #interviews, #job hopper, #more passive, #stereo typing

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Boss: Your work history suggests that you might be a job-hopper. Interviewee: Oh, really? Well, I should hop all over you for saying that! Boss: I thought you would be more passive. Interviewee: Wow. You cannot stop stereotyping.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #browser history, #business ethics, #engineer, #engineering, #padded resume, #puppets, #technically, #rumor

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CEO: I'd like to address the rumor that I padded my resume. In the strictest sense of the word, I am not technically an "engineer" per se. But to put this in perspective, even The Pope hides his browser history. It's no big deal.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dueling, #announcing stupid, #dumbest person, #history, #moron, #new cubicle, #education

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Loud Howard meets Topper Coworker: I did something stupid today!!! Topper: That's nothing. I'm the dumbest person in the history of the universe!!! Together: I'm a moron!!! Dilbert: I need a new cubicle.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business ethics, #free app, #stealing personal info, #lodge complaint, #monthly subscription, #package, #history of contaxcts, #sells itself

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Customer: Your free app is stealing my personal information. I'd like to lodge a complaint. Dogbert: Buy our monthly subscription package or I'll send your browser history to your contacts. Dilbert: How's your app going? Dogbert: It practically sells itself.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #avarice, #managers & supervisors, #wages, #open minded, #worst idea, #hostory, #not give raise, #business, #money

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Dilbert says, "I need you to be open-minded about this idea." The Boss says, "Oh, really?" The Boss says, "That's the sort of thing people say before they describe the worst idea in the history of the world." Dilbert says, "My idea is to not give me a raise." The Boss says, "I'm hating you a little extra."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business ethics, #program website, #collect browser hostory, #invent device, #sense of right and wrong

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The boss: How hard would it be to program our website to collect browser history from our visitors? Dilbert: well, first Id need to invent some sort of device that reverses my sense of right and wrong. The Boss: so...we we talking about a week ...or a month?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #social netowrks, #Games, #phones, #curb pick up, #dustbin of history, #twitter

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Dogbert says, "The only thing that matter are social networks, games and phones." Dogbert says, "You're not working on any of that, so I arranged for the dustbin of history to do curb pickup." Asok says, "Please! I Twitter!" Garbage man says, "Too little, too late."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #summary, #history of the earth, #time, #hours

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The man who could not summarize Man says, "It all started 4.53 billion years ago during the Hadean eon." Man says, "I hope you don't mind if I skip over the part where the earth formed by accretion from the solar nebula." Hours Later Man says, "...And that formed what we call the moon." Dilbert says, "Maybe I'll just ask someone else what time it is."