Hold Papers Comic Strips - Page 3

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

203 Results for Hold Papers

View 21 - 30 results for hold papers comic strips. Discover the best "Hold Papers" comics from Dilbert.com.

Robot Learns To Code

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Robot Learns To Code - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #soul, #technology, #life, #control, #power, #code, #programming, #grudge, #resent

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Hey, robot. What's new? Robot: I'm glad you asked. Alice gave me an artificial soul and that made me feel special. Then Dilbert taught me to code. Asok: I don't like where this is heading. Robot: I hold grudges now.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #temper, #anger, #calm, #email, #frustration, #internet, #communication, #reaction, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: What the... Dilbert: It's not a good idea to answer email while you're angry. Alice: I know, but this idiot... Dilbert: Hold... That's it. Deep breaths. Hold... Hold... Alice: Phew! You were right. I should not get worked up over one idiot. He wasn't working alone! Dilbert: I'm out.

Solving Problems In Interviews

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Solving Problems In Interviews - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #interview, #trick, #thinking, #problem

View Transcript

Transcript

Job Interview. Boss: Tell me your process for solving this sort of problem. Man: I would ignore it for a week and likely discover that it wasn't important in the first place. If it still matters after a week, I would hold fake job interviews and ask people how to solve it. Boss: Apparently, that doesn't work.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #public speaking, #presentation, #question, #questions, #stupid, #idiot, #idiots, #criticism, #critic

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I need you to critique my presentation for the board. And don't hold back to spare my feelings. Dilbert: That probably won't be an issue. Alice: We got this. Boss: My product idea has three components. Alice: How do you know another company isn't secretly preparing to launch the same product? Boss: What kind of stupid question is that? Alice: It's the same question you asked me yesterday about my product idea. Boss: The board won't ask that. Alice: Don't be so sure. I hear they're idiots.

Boss And Social Media

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss And Social Media - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #social media, #twitter, #facebook, #passion, #deception, #trick, #prank, #obliviousness, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I don't get social media. How do I get followers? Wally: Easy. People care about passion. Find something you hate and write about it. Boss: Well, I don't like children. Wally: Perfect. And don't hold back.

Alice Can Be Disrespectful

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Alice Can Be Disrespectful - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mocking, #frustration, #power, #helpless

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Alice mocked me in a meeting and I didn't react. Now she thinks she has the right to be disrespectful all the time. Catbert: You can't afford to lose a top engineer. Just wait it out and she will get tired of it. Alice: Sproink! Look what happens when you tell a lie! Boss: Hold... hold...

Wally Is Employee Of The Year

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Is Employee Of The Year - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #awards, #cheating, #deception, #patent, #catch-22, #work ethic, #laziness

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Our Employee Of The Year is Wally, for filing the most patents of any engineer in our history. Dilbert: How many have been granted? CEO: Well, most of them... I assume? Wally: How much coffee does this thing hold?

Ceo Inflates His Own Head

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ceo Inflates His Own Head - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bonus, #ceos, #competition, #executives, #height, #money, #salary, #wages

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Now that our policy is to pay people based on height, your CEO salary is capped, too. CEO: That's what you think. Watch what happens when I hold my nose and close my mouth and blow. Catbert: Well, I guess it only needs to last until bonus season.

Text Is More Important Than Dilbert

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Text Is More Important Than Dilbert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cell phones, #distraction, #power, #subversion, #text, #text message, #attention, #pellet of attention, #ignore, #superior, #demonstrate

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Hold on, I have a text message that is probably more important than you. I will demonstrate my power over you by handling a text message while you sit there, waiting for a pellet of my attention. Stop texting me! Dilbert: Mmm... pellet.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #focus, #losing focus ability, #wasn't important, #digital distractions, #conversations

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Studies say people are losing their ability to focus because of all the digital distractions. Wally: Sorry, what? Dilbert: Hold on... Wally: What were you saying? Dilbert: I dunno. Probably wasn't important.