Ice Cold Bath Comic Strips - Page 3

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View 21 - 30 results for ice-cold bath comic strips. Discover the best "Ice Cold Bath" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sales personnel, #cold calling, #video chat, #sales job, #computer, #selling on line, #skype, #technology

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Boss: You're supposed to be cold calling sales prospects. Wally: I am. I'm using a video chat site to randomly meet potential customers. This guy is excited to see me, and that's half of the sales job right here.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #copyright & trademark, #earmuffs for oysters, #insane, #lawsuit monkey, #lawyer, #legal

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Salesman: Do you mind if I pretend to be helpful while I awkwardly try to upsell you? Dilbert: Nope. Do you mind if I pretend to be listening while I think about other things? Salesman: Cool. Dilbert: I'm glad I don't have your job. Salesman: How old is your refrigerator? Do you like ice?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sales personnel, #pretend, #helpful, #awkwardly upsell, #listening, #refrigerator, #ice

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Dilbert is shopping. A salesman approaches him and says "Do you mind if I pretend to be helpful while I awkwardly try to upsell you?" Dilbert replies "Nope. Do you mind if I pretend to be listening while I think about other things?" "Cool," says the salesman. Dilbert thinks to himself "I'm glad I don't have your job." The salesman asks him "How old is your refrigerator? Do you like ice?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #television news, #rogue nations, #nuclear weapons, #polar ice caps, #melting, #unemployment, #brink of default, #retirement, #news

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Wally: Rogue nations are building nuclear weapons. The polar ice caps are melting. Unemployment is high. Entire nations are on the brink of default. You aren't saving enough for retirement. Dilbert: What do you have going here? Wally: He said he doesn't pay attention to news. I wondered why.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #automobile travel, #automobiles (cars), #weather, #zero degrees, #icy roads, #coffee, #traffic, #guradrail, #3 hours late

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Boss: You're just now getting here? Wally: It's zero degrees and the roads are all ice. I drank six cups of coffee before leaving the house and sat in traffic for two hours. Boss: You're three hours late. Wally: I spent the last hour stuck to a guardrail.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #created cold fusion, #jar with light bulb, #more news, #camera guy

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Press Conference Dogbert says, "As you can clearly see, I have created cold fusion." Man says, "That's not cold fusion. It's just a jar with a lightbulb." Dogbert says, "Here's some more news: No one cares what the camera guy thinks." Woman says, "It's free energy!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hold press conference, #introduce cold fusion, #breakthrough, #lightbulb, #wires plugged, #low opinion, #jar with frosted glass, #overkill

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Dogbert says, "I'm ready to hold a press conference to introduce my cold fusion breakthrough." Dilbert says, "All you did is put a lightbulb in a jar. I can see the wires plugged into the outlet." Dilbert says, "You have a low opinion of people." Dogbert says, "I considered using a jar with frosted glass, but it seemed like overkill."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fear, #rodents, #transcontinental journeys, #elbonia, #too cold, #airplanes, #operate, #underground route, #fly, #switzerland, #swear system, #sewerside mission, #warm jacket, #rat hammer

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The Boss says, "Asok, I need you to go to Elbonia. It's too cold for airplanes to operate there, so you'll need to use the underground route." The Boss says, "Fly into Switzerland and follow the sewer systems from there. Stick to the side of the sewer where it's dryer." Asok says, "It's a sewerside mission!" The Boss says, "You'll need a warm jacket and a rat hammer."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #security guard, #shout, #technical advice, #career change, #loud, #yell, #mouth open, #reboot, #Promotion, #hobo, #sponge bath, #lobby fountain, #typo, #nervous

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Henry says, "Try rebooting." Dilbert says, "Who are you?" Henry says, "I'm Henry the security guard. I'm trying to evolve into a new career." Henry says, "I'm ignoring my real job while loudly giving technical advice to coworkers." Henry says, "Eventually, people will start to see me as a valuable technical resource. Promotions will follow." Dilbert says, "Do you know anything about technology besides 'try rebooting'?" The Boss says, "Henry, who let the hobo take a sponge bath in the lobby fountain?" Henry says, "Try rebooting! Try rebooting!" Dilbert says, "To fix a typo?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cold-calling, #sales, #engineer, #threatening, #fire, #closing, #economy, #business, #engineering

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Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "Sales have been lagging" Dogbert says, "I want each of you to cold-call ten customers per day." Alice says, "We're engineers. We don't know how to sell." Dogbert says, "Just follow this script. It's guaranteed to close every sale." Dilbert says, "Hello. I'm calling on behalf of the police and firefighter's charity for unattractive youths." Dilbert says, "If you send us $500 we will send you a lovely piece of software as a thank you gift." Dilbert says, "Otherwisem when your house catches on fire, you might find yourself handcuffed to the refrigerator." Mom says, "Dilbert? Is that you?" Dilbert says, "Hi, mom. I'm in sales now."