Ignorant Comic Strips - Page 3
48 Results for Ignorant
View 21 - 30 results for ignorant comic strips. Discover the best "Ignorant" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share July 19, 2009's comic on:
The boss says, "Did you see my suggestions for your presentation?" Dilbert says, "Yes, I rejected them." The boss says, "They aren't optional." Dilbert says, "Then why do you call them suggestions?" The boss says, "Sometimes I call things the wrong names to improve morale." DIlbert says, "You should just say what you're thinking. I can handle the truth." The boss says, "FIne. Make all of the changes I want, you ignorant hump." The boss says, "And do it now while I mock you with sleep noises." The boss says, "Baaaa! Baaaa! Baaaa!" Dilbert says, "Maybe your first way was better." The boss says, "No one will ever love you!"
Share July 16, 2009's comic on:
Tina says, "For the company newsletter profile, I need to know how you rose from being an ignorant baboon to an overpaid speed bump." Tina says, "And make it not boring." The boss says, "I'm not an overpaid speed bump!" Tina says, "My fact-checker will need to see your pay stub."
Share May 03, 2009's comic on:
Dilbert says, "Sorry I'm late. A truck turned over on the highway. What did I miss?" Man says, "We don't want to rehash the entire meeting." Dilbert says, "How about a quick summary?" Man says, "No, if we leave out any details, you'll think we made the wrong decision." Man says, "It's best for us if we keep you ignorant and angry." Dilbert says, "IF you marginalize me, I will become a nemesis to your project!" Man says, "I'm cool with that." Man says, "Sort of like a mascot?" Dilbert says, "A nemesis is not like a mascot!" Man says, "Maybe you could wear a giant squirrel costume."
Share April 01, 2009's comic on:
The boss says, "I hired a temp to cover your job while you're on vacation." The boss says, "She's far more qualified than you, and her stated goal is to replace you but don't worry." Carol says, "How am I supposed to not worry about that?" The Boss says, "yoga?"
Share April 13, 2008's comic on:
Alice, I'm hoping we can work together on this project in the spirit of cooperation. I'll have some ideas, and you'll have some ideas, and together we can pick the best ones. Alice: Sure, that's one approach. But I prefer to exhale deeply and roll my eyes while you prattle. Then I will verbally demolish your ludicrous ideas, and dismantle your mistaken self-image as a competent man. The carnage will create a striking contrast for the warm, clear glow of my brilliant ideas. Later, I will round out the package by spreading amusing stories about how ignorant you are. Is there any chance of doing it my way? Alice: Now watch the eyes."
Share September 26, 2006's comic on:
"You're so attractive that I'm blind to your complete lack of qualifications." "If I hire you, will you show up for work?" "Not often, you ignorant lump." "Ha ha! It's cute the way you say it." "Ha ha! I want your office."
Share September 18, 2005's comic on:
I want to get a good base tan before I take my vacation. "That'll prevent me from getting a sunburn when I go to the beach." "I think it's a myth that a base tan can protect you from sunburns." "You are so wrong! Let's make a bet. The loser has to jump into that freezing pond." "Fine. I'll do a search on my wireless computer. Here you go: A base tan provides only a negligible SPF 4 protection." "I'm not jumping into that freezing pond." PUSH "You were already ignorant and contentious. I didn't want you to be a welcher too."
Share April 03, 2004's comic on:
Share June 22, 2003's comic on:
Headline: Seven Stages of a Performance Review. Alice is sitting at her computer. The Boss approaches and says, "It's time." Headline: Denial. Carol is sitting across from the Boss. She looks at her evaluation and exclaims, "What the...? These aren't even my objectives!" Headline: Anger. Alice grabs The Boss by his tie and says, "Who said these things about me?!" Headline: Bargaining. Alice calms down and asks, "What if I make someone write a glowing e-mail about me?" Headline: Depression. Alice slumps in her chair and says, "Morale slipping away... hair.... so.... limp." Headline: Acceptance. Alice stands to leave and says, "Whatever, there's no budget for raises anyway." Headline: Trash-talking. Alice walks away from The Boss' office and says to herself, "... Wool-covered pile of ignorant monkey spit." Headline: Lunch. Alice sits in her cubicle and thinks, "A falafel would hit the spot."
Share January 12, 2003's comic on:
Asok enters The Boss' office and says, "I thought of a great idea." Asok continues, "You could let the project managers manage their own budgets... What?" Asok starts to look scared. He says, "You're giving me a look. I must try to guess what it means." Asok continues, "We don't do things that way? If it were a good idea you'd already be doing it?" Asok clutches his tie in fear and continues, "My ideas are poorly conceived?! I can't see the big picture?" Asok jumps back and exclaims, "Gaaa!!! I am ignorant and worthless!!" Asok punches himself in the face and exclaims, "I must pummel myself with my own tiny fists!!" He cries, "Ow! Ow!" Afterwards, The Boss says to Catbert, "They're kinda self-managed now." Catbert responds, "Very evil: I purr in your general direction."