Improved Dating Life Comic Strips - Page 3
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546 Results for Improved Dating Life
View 21 - 30 results for improved dating life comic strips. Discover the best "Improved Dating Life" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday October 25,
2019
Work Life Balance
Tags #business, #interviewee, #interview, #employer, #company, #healthy, #work, #life, #balance, #victim
Transcript
boss: tell me what you are looking for in an employer interviewee in suit: i want a company that appreciates a healthy work-life balance. boss: you have a bit of a victim vibe interviewee: i was hoping that didn't show
Saturday October 05,
2019
Comic Like Dilbert
Tags #Entertainment, #Comic, #simulation, #life, #superior, #being
Transcript
dilbert: i'm freaking out because i just learned there's a comic strip called "dilbert" that is exactly like my life. and look - this is exactly what i did today. it's as if i'm a simulation created by a superior being. dogbert: uh-oh, he's on-to me.
Sunday September 01,
2019
Boss Makes Document Suggestions
Tags #boss, #employees, #frustrated, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #report, #sarcasm
Transcript
Boss: Run this by Tina before you send it out. Dilbert: I already did. Boss: Make sure legal signs off on it. Dilbert: They did. Boss: Add the revenue graph from Alice's slide deck. Dilbert: It's in the exhibits in the back. Boss: You need to compare this plan to the "do nothing" option. Dilbert: That's on the next page. Boss: I need you to change something on this document so my life has meaning. Dilbert: I put a misspelled word on page seven for you. Boss: Fix it.
Sunday August 11,
2019
New Cubicles
Transcript
boss: are you enjoying your new cubicles? alice: my old cubicle had a window view. my new cubicle is in a windowless room with gray walls. it's always too cold, and i'm surrounded by noisy people i dislike. i feel anxious, unhealthy, and depressed all day long. thanks to the office relocation, my life has become a rapid descent into madness. boss: on the plus side, we saved five precent in rent. no one ever likes to hear about the plus side.
Thursday March 28,
2019
Dating A Unicorn
Tags #business, #dating, #office, #office workers, #unicorn
Transcript
ted: i hear you're dating a unicorn. dilbert: that is absurd and untrue. ted: then how do you explain the fact that five people told me it was true? ted: i mean, you'd have to believe all five of them are idiots. dilbert: including you, it's six.
Saturday March 09,
2019
Dilbert Feels Overwhelmed
Tags #life, #office, #office workers, #panic, #overwhelmed
Transcript
Dilbert: I'm feeling overwhelmed by all the things I need to get done. Boss: Have you tried eliminating your personal life? Dilbert: That took care of itself. Boss: Okay, that's the only idea I had.
Wednesday March 06,
2019
Employee Engagement Is Up
Tags #employees, #managers & supervisors, #obliviousness, #questions, #data, #measurement
Transcript
Boss: And I've improved employee engagement by nineteen percent. CEO: What is employee engagement? Boss: I'm not entirely sure. CEO: Then how do you measure it? Boss: Honestly, I wasn't expecting a lot of questions.
Wednesday February 27,
2019
Loss Of Libido
Tags #dating, #doctors, #marriage, #medicines, #relations between the sexes, #sex
Transcript
Man: My new meds totally eliminated my libido. But my doctor says I need them. Dilbert: Does your wife mind? Man: Not since she started dating my doctor.
Tuesday February 12,
2019
Co2 Scrubber Too Efficient
Tags #earth, #mistake, #plants, #technology, #inventions, #atmosphere
Transcript
Dilbert: I've developed a super-efficient device that scrubs CO2 out of the air. But the user has to remember to turn it off after a few days or else it will remove too much CO2 and destroy all life on Earth. Man: Hey, who left this thing unplugged?
Sunday February 03,
2019
Tags #business, #business ethics, #construction, #inventions, #nature, #technology, #trees
Transcript
Dilbert: I invented a cost-effective product to harvest CO2 from the air and turn it into construction material. Asok: So...you invented a tree? Dilbert: What? Asok: Trees take CO2 from the air and turn it into wood. Your invention will compete with plants and trees for necessary CO2. It seems you have doomed all life on Earth. Dilbert: Not if people act rationally and stop removing the CO2 when...wait... You're right. I doomed the planet. Boss: I'll be dead by then, so ship it.