Inferior Technology Comic Strips - Page 3
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698 Results for Inferior Technology
View 21 - 30 results for inferior technology comic strips. Discover the best "Inferior Technology" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday October 10,
2020
Asok Is Overpaid
Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #project, #technology, #time, #pay, #argue, #math, #face mask, #salary
Transcript
asok: i finished my project in half the projected time. boss: that means i'm paying you twice as much as you deserve. asok: i don't think it means that at all. boss: you look dumb arguing with math.
Monday October 05,
2020
Astrology Filter
Tags #apathy, #Astrology, #business, #incoherent, #sense, #strategic, #technology
Transcript
dilbert looking at laptop: your strategic technology plan was incoherent. i had to run it through an astrology filter to make sense out of it. boss video conferencing: and? dilbert: it says you are "full of taurus" and your plan "is a cancer." boss: sounds right.
Saturday October 03,
2020
Proceed As If Nothing Happened
Tags #accomplish, #business, #face mask, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #people, #project, #technology
Transcript
tina: why did you tell our boss i have the wrong people on my project? dilbert: i didn't say that. in fact, i don't even know what you project is trying to accomplish, much less who is working with you on it. will we now proceed as if you didn't hear me say that? tina upset: they are not the wrong people.
Friday October 02,
2020
Robots Will Sneak Up On Us
Tags #argue, #business, #employees, #enginners, #managers & supervisors, #replace, #robots, #technology, #train
Transcript
boss: we aren't yet ready to replace engineers with robots, but that day will sneak up on us. so i'd like all of you to train a robot to do your jobs, just so we are ready. dilbert: you want us to train our own replacements? boss thinking: this is another thing a robot would not argue about.
Thursday October 01,
2020
No Update Needed
Tags #apathy, #assignment, #face mask, #managers & supervisors, #project, #robot, #sarcasm, #technology, #update
Transcript
asok: would you like an update on my project? boss: no, not really. i only give you the projects i don't care about. asok: i just lost my will to live. boss: that is exactly why i plan to replace you with a robot.
Sunday September 13,
2020
Applying Math To Guesses
Tags #business ethics, #managers & supervisors, #employment, #business, #analysis, #discount rate, #installation, #maintenance, #project, #technology, #math, #guess, #sarcasm, #face mask
Transcript
boss: how confident are you in your analysis? dilbert: very confident. boss: good. dilbert: unless i used the wrong discount rate, which is hard to know. boss: but otherwise, it's solid? dilbert: except for the installation and maintenance costs, which are wild guesses. and we don't know if we sized the project right, so costs could be double or triple. boss: it sounds as if you applied math to a bunch of wild guesses. dilbert: yes, but i got the result you wanted. boss: next time, just say that.
Friday September 11,
2020
Betting On Management
Tags #covid-19, #business, #technology, #confidence, #management, #infection, #coronavirus, #bet, #stupidity, #income, #betting, #health
Transcript
dilbert: does it reduce your confidence in our management that 100% of them got infected with coronavirus. wally: all i know is that i won $300 betting it would happen. dilbert: how often do you bet on their stupidity? wally: often enough to double my income.
Thursday September 10,
2020
Artificial Dumbness
Tags #business, #cell phone, #managers & supervisors, #technology, #software, #invention, #artificial, #dumb, #human, #face mask
Transcript
dilbert: my new software invention is called "artificial dumbness." it acts dumb so humans will think they are talking to one of their own. boss: that couldn't possibly work. dilbert's phone echos: that couldn't possibly work.
Saturday August 29,
2020
Package Design
Tags #business, #vp of sales, #technology, #sales, #selling, #design, #proposal, #package, #jump, #roof, #crazy, #sarcasm, #face mask
Transcript
dilbert: i got feedback on the proposed package design. our vp of sales says if we go with this design, he will "jump off the roof." alice: is he crazy or just good at selling? dilbert: no way to tell.
Friday August 28,
2020
Where The Problems Are
Tags #business, #application, #app, #technology, #improvement, #dumb, #implement, #problems, #insult, #face mask
Transcript
co-worker: do you have any suggestions for improving the app? dilbert: yes, but you are far too dumb to implement any of them, so i won't bother. co-worker: at least tell me where the problems are. dilbert pointing at co-worker: the big ones are all in this big bag of skin.