Insulting Nickname Comic Strips - Page 3

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

60 Results for Insulting Nickname

View 21 - 30 results for insulting nickname comic strips. Discover the best "Insulting Nickname" comics from Dilbert.com.

Ceo Succession Plan

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ceo Succession Plan - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags inheritance & succession, insulting, strategy, loser, incompetent, honor, be considered

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: The board is getting on me for not having a succession plan. Find me a loser who is so incompetent that the board won't want to fire me. Boss: It's an honor to even be considered! Catbert: I was going to say that!

Hire People Smarter Than You

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Hire People Smarter Than You - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags insult, insulting, insults, intelligence, managers, obliviousness, Promotion, samrter, perfect manager

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Are you interested in becoming a manager? Dilbert: That would never work. Managers are supposed to hire people who are smarter than they are. That's easy for you, but how would I ever find anyone to hire? Boss: I don't understand. Dilbert: And that makes you the perfect manager.

Planning To Lose

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Planning To Lose - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags failure, insulting, planning, business plan, plan for failure, losers, angry, same page

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: If our business plan fails, do we have a plan for that? Boss: Only losers plan for failure. Dilbert: I think we're on the same page, but for some reason you're angry about it.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags deception, email, insulting, intelligence, iq, trickery, work ethic, obession, addiction, work smarter, text, efficiency

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Studies show that continually checking email lowers your functional I.Q. You advised me to "work smarter," so I plan to ignore all of your email from now on. Boss: What if I text you instead? Wally: That's the sort of question that one asks after checking email too often. Boss: Did you just insult me? Wally: That answer is in your email. Boss: Where is it? I don't see any email from you. But I see six new emails that look important. What were we talking about. Wally: You were complimenting me on my efficiency.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags insult, insulting, insults, obliviousness, robot, filling in, vacation, soul less creature, questionable intelligence

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our robot will be sitting in for me while I'm on vacation. I hope you can get used to taking orders from a soulless creature of questionable intelligence. Wally: I think I can do that. Boss: That's the spirit!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, temporary ceo, c level suite, employee realtions, boss, cubicle, insulting, receptionist, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The board named me temporary CEO. And guess who is coming with me to the C-level suite! Carol: It's me! Boss: No. And you're also a terrible guesser.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags hypocrisy, respect, succeed, treat each other well, video recording, google glasses, recording confidential info, fired, insulting, final check, name calling, ironic

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: We only succeed when we treat each other with respect. Are you video-recording me with those Google glasses? Dilbert: Huh? CEO: You're fired for recording a confidential meeting! Pack your bags, you worthless piece of garbage! I got your final check right here! Dilbert: These are my regular glasses. Having cleared that up, you were saying something about respect? CEO: Settle down, four-eyes. This isn't over.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dating, internet & world wide web, social media cosultant, one like, less than ten thousand, insulting, elbonian, inflate your like count, socialize, wine glasses, bar wine, kiss, relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: What do you do for a living? Woman: I'm a social media consultant. Dilbert: I like you. Woman: Phhht. You're giving me one like? Anything less than ten thousand likes is an insult. Dilbert: I'll be right back. I hired an Elbonian to artificially inflate your like count. Elbonian: Like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like. Dilbert: I am not paying that guy.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, coffee, good managing, horing, ignorance (knowledge), insulting, managers & supervisors, smart people, confontation, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Today I learned that the secret of good managing is hiring people who are smarter than I am. Maybe I'll try that next time.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meetings, 8am, meeting, useful work, insulting, good time management, overlap, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Coworker: Can you come to my meeting at 8am tomorrow? Dilbert: No. I reserve the first few hours of every morning for useful work. Coworker: That feels like an insult. Dilbert: I call it good time management. There's a lot of overlap.