Insults Customer Comic Strips - Page 3
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250 Results for Insults Customer
View 21 - 30 results for insults customer comic strips. Discover the best "Insults Customer" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday August 29,
2019
The Inexperienced Employee.
Tags Advice, criticism, employees, insults, office workers
Transcript
Man: Let me tell you how to do your job. You need to get all the vendors in the same room and insult them until they offer you discounts. Dilbert: That sounds super dumb. Man: That's what they said to Galileo old man.
Wednesday August 14,
2019
Bad Analogy Guy Fits In
Tags employees, insults, office, office workers, sarcasm
Transcript
Man: Hi. I'm the bad analogy guy. I can't tell the difference between thinking and simply being reminded of unrelated things. Wally: You'll fit in well here. Man: You dress like a liar.
Thursday July 11,
2019
Boss Surgery
Sunday June 30,
2019
Beg And Pay Store
Tags business, office, buying, selling, begging, internet
Transcript
dogbert: i'm opening a beg-and-pay store. dilbert: what will you be selling? dogbert: selling? dogbert: you are way behind the times. dogbert: stores don't sell things anymore. dogbert: selling would require good customer service and lots of stock on hand. dogbert: if you want that sort of thing, use the internet. dogbert: i just want a place where people can go and beg me to sell them stuff that isn't in stock. office worker: can you help me find this hat in my size? dogbert: beg!!!
Monday April 08,
2019
Offensive Product Name
Tags business, insults, office, office workers, elbonian
Transcript
dilbert: our product name turns out to be offensive in the elbonian language. dilbert: it means "one who rips off his own facial hair and feeds it to a baby bird, which chokes and dies, signaling years of drought." the boss: that's all in one word? dilbert: they only have seventeen words, and nine of them are insults.
Thursday March 21,
2019
Manipulation Via Dopamine
Tags customer, lotalty, science, new, manipulate, addictions, mockery, free will, evil, extreme
Transcript
Boss: We've moved past the old notation of customer loyalty. Now we use science to manipulate dopamine and create addictions that make a mockery of free will. Dilbert: That sounds like the epitome of evil. Boss: We call it "extreme marketing."
Saturday February 16,
2019
Dumb Questions
Thursday February 14,
2019
Small Managers
Tags boss, business, computer software, engineering, frustration, office workers, sarcasm, clients
Transcript
Boss: I told a customer we would make a small change to the software for them. Dilbert: There are no small software changes, only small managers. Boss: Dang it! Why does that sound so wise!
Monday February 04,
2019
Robot Has A Cyborg
Tags insults, Kids, office workers, robot, technology, smartphone
Transcript
Alice: Today I saw a kid on a hoverboard using a smartphone with headphones. It was like a creepy new species that is half-human and half-robot. Robot: That's my son. He's a cyborg. Alice: I'll report myself to human resources.
Sunday January 20,
2019
Tags annoyance, insults, office, office workers, people, sarcasm, introvert, coworkers
Transcript
Tina: Sometimes it seems as if you don't like me. Dilbert: Don't be ridiculous. I'm just an introvert. Being around people drains my energy. I only avoid you because spending five minutes with you feels like being buried alive. With fleas instead of dirt. Tina: So...it isn't personal? Dilbert: I need a nap.