Invented Table Comic Strips - Page 3
833 Results for Invented Table
View 21 - 30 results for invented table comic strips. Discover the best "Invented Table" comics from Dilbert.com.
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Dilbert: The new hire gets paid more than me. It isn't fair. Dogbert: Fairness is a concept that was invented so kids and idiots could participate in debates. Dilbert: Hey, that's not fair. Dogbert: The best case scenario here is that you're younger than you look.
Share November 07, 2016's comic on:
Dilbert: I invented an artificial soul to help non-believers act morally. It's a small drone that follows you around and reminds you not to be a jerk. Wally: Did it forget to remind you today? Dilbert: My drone says I shouldn't slap you.
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Dilbert: Is it true that you invented a device with human intelligence and human emotions? Wally: Yes. I'd give you a demo, but the device is depressed and wants to be left alone. Dilbert: It looks like a block of wood. Wally: I'm only trying to copy the human mind. There's no reason to over-engineer it. Dilbert: I can respect that.
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CEO: I heard you invented a device with human intelligence and human emotions. Can I ask it a question? Wally: It's in a bad mood. It's not talking. CEO: Wow! It's just like people! Wally: You'd better leave before you make it cry.
Share November 19, 2015's comic on:
Dilbert: An Elbonian start-up invented a new kind of computer mouse. Coworker: Wait until I tell the world that you compared Elbonians to mice, you racists! Hi, I'm Dick, from the Internet. Wally: We're familiar with your work.
Share September 09, 2015's comic on:
Dilbert: Do you ever think it's weird that you get paid a hundred times more than me? I invented our core technology. All you did was interview better than a few other people who didn't invent anything. I'm not good at small talk. CEO: I would totally fire you if I could invent things.
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Dilbert: I invented an external brain stimulator to regulate my moods. Woman: That means your personality is artificial. How can I be attracted to a fake person? Dilbert: Are you saying your baseline personality is an unpleasant drunk? Woman: What?