Invisible Force Comic Strips - Page 3

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

78 Results for Invisible Force

View 21 - 30 results for invisible force comic strips. Discover the best "Invisible Force" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 27, 2004's comic on:


Tags #engineers, #office, #name, #zinger, #introductions, #invisible, #resentful

View Transcript

Transcript

Why its great to be an engineer Hi Dilbert. Dilbert: Hi...there. He doesn't remember my name. Say it! Say my name! Hey dilbert. Now he'll be forced to introduce me, her- her. Alice: Am I interupting anything? dilbert: no Its awkward for you now. HA HA! squirm, you name forgetter. The pressure too introduce me must be killing you . HAHA! Dilbert: Do you have the new software specs? Alice: follow me. Alice: who was that guy? Dilbert: What guy?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 15, 2004's comic on:


Tags #target market, #one customer, #10 thousand units, #shop carefully

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "Our target market is people who don't shop carefully." "Our product is designed to attack the user and force him to reorder." "We only have one customer but we've sold 10,000 units."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 28, 2003's comic on:


Tags #employee moral survey, #open, #honest, #communication from management, #death spiral, #looting comaony, #noise, #fishing lures, #e, #ploys suffer, #boss likes hurting, #sick boss, #negative force

View Transcript

Transcript

"I have the results of the employee morale survey." "The number one issue is 'not enough open and honest communication from management.'" "Well, okay. I'm willing to give that a try." "Management is looting the company while hiding the fact that we're in a death spiral." "Whenever you talk, I think about fishing lures until the noise stops." "When I see an employee suffer, it excites me in ways I don't understand." "On nine separate occasions I've fired bald guys because I thought they were you." "If this doesn't work for you. Let me know on next employee morale survey."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 01, 2003's comic on:


Tags #times are tough, #optimism, #find good in bad, #wild pigs, #pigs are cute

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: "Alice, I know that times are tough. But you need to show more optimism." The Boss: "Try to find the good thing in any bad situation." "Our entire sales force has been eaten by wild pigs." Alice: "Pigs are cute!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 21, 2003's comic on:


Tags #power to become invisible, #sit home, #get paid, #Wally, #boss, #hiding

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally and Asok are eating lunch. Wally says, "Long term, I hope to convince our boss that I have the power to become invisible." Wally continues, "Then I can just sit home and get paid. Oh, it will be sweet." The Boss is sitting at his desk, he looks scared. He asks, "Wally? Is that you?" Wally is hiding behind The Boss' chair. Wally replies, "Right in front of you."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 27, 2003's comic on:


Tags #customer diservice program, #tech supprt, #stretched telephone, #cleansed online support, #useful articles, #support groups, #train customers

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss points to a slide of a man making a funny face and says, "We've expanded our customer disservice program." The Boss points to the next slide of a technician saying, "Uh.. reboot." The Boss continues, "...Doubled our unhelpful technical support advice." The next slide is of a customer leaning back with one hand on the phone and the other holding his stomach, saying, "So... hungry." The Boss continues, "... Stretched our telephone hold times to lethal durations..." Wally, Dilbert, and Alice listen as The Boss' voice continues, "... And cleansed our online support database of all useful articles." The Boss says, "Our goal is to force customers to form support groups." The Boss continues, "Over time, with luck, we'll train customers to do our manufacturing and shipping, too." Wally raises his hand and asks, "May I train a customer to do my job?" The Boss replies, "Sure." A little boy sits in front of a computer with a cup of coffee in his hand. He asks Wally, "So.. what do I do?" Wally responds, "You're doing it."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 21, 2003's comic on:


Tags #new tech lab, #pick contractor, #lowest bid, #force problems, #chance to gnaw wood, #beaver interview

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is sitting at his computer. The Boss approaches and says, "I'm putting you in charge of building our new technology lab." The Boss continues, "Pick the contractor with the lowest bid. I don't see any problems with that strategy." Dilbert is meeting with a beaver. Dilbert says, "So, your bid says you'll do the job for... 'A chance to gnaw on wood.'" The beaver responds, "Too high?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 17, 2001's comic on:


Tags #cubicle, #sucking life force, #happening faster, #life suck 3000, #machine, #evil catbert

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is standing in front of the boss's desk. Dilbert says, "My cubicle is sucking the life force out of me." Dilbert continues, "I mean, it always has, but it seems like it's happening faster now." The boss approaches Catbert who is at the controls of a large machine called "LifeSuck 3000". The boss says, "They noticed."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 22, 2000's comic on:


Tags #deliver bad news, #meet goals, #fire an engineer, #sales people, #immoral, #punish engineers, #hole puncher

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss is walking and thinking, "Sometimes a manager must deliver bad news." The boss, behind Dilbert, thinks, "Luckily I enjoy it." The boss says, "Our sales force failed to meet their goals." The boss continues, "So I have to fire an engineer to reduce expenses." Dilbert says, "What?" Dilbert says, "You should fire the incompetent sales people!" Dilber continues, "It's immoral to punish innocent engineers for the sins of sales people! I will fight this all the way!" The boss says, "I'm firing Ted. Not you." Dilbert says, "Fair enough. Can you wait until I borrow his hole puncher?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 03, 2000's comic on:


Tags #turn invisible, #run silent, #make descions, #can't see

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss thinks to himself as Alice approaches, "If I could turn invisible, I wouldn't need to make decisions." The Boss continues to think, "Invisible...invisible...you can't see me." Alice says to the Boss, "I guess we're done." The Boss thinks to himself, "Run silent."