Just An Observation Comic Strips - Page 3
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1000 Results for Just An Observation
View 21 - 30 results for just an observation comic strips. Discover the best "Just An Observation" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday July 05,
2020
Tracking Dilbert
Tags #body cam, #freedom, #keystrokes, #location, #managers & supervisors, #phone, #report, #status, #technology, #track, #video conference, #work at home, #working
Transcript
dilbert: maybe i could permanently work at home. boss: on video conference: no problem. i just need a few things from you to make sure you are working. dilbert: such as? boss: well. obviously, i need frequent status reports. dilbert: sounds reasonable. boss: and i'll need to track your keystrokes and your phone's location. dilbert: wow. well, okay. i guess i can get used to that in return for my freedom to work at home. boss: now that I've loosened you up. let's talk about fitting you for a body cam.
Sunday June 28,
2020
Dating In The Age Of Coronavirus
Tags #attractive, #contract, #covid-19, #dating, #eyes, #goodnight, #kiss, #lawyers, #mask, #masked, #negotiations, #office workers, #single, #technology
Transcript
carol: it must be difficult to be single in the age of covid-19. dilbert: it's not too bad, actually. i'm in contract negotiations with a semi-attractive women i met online. with any luck, i will be enjoying a double-masked goodnight kiss by late next month. that assumes our lawyers don't make too many changes to the contract. carol: did you just say she is only semi-attractive? dilbert: i'm judging from the parts i can see. i don't know what's under the mask and shower cap she wears all day. carol: you must like her eyes. dilbert: i like the one i can see. the other one has a patch.
Friday June 26,
2020
Input From Idiots
Tags #office workers, #sarcasm, #technology, #input, #idiots, #project, #variety, #dumb, #informed, #leadership
Transcript
dilbert: per your orders, i got input on my project from a variety of people who are dumber and less informed than i am. as you might imagine, the net effect was to make everything worse. boss: are you done? dilbert: i just want to thank you for all the leadership.
Wednesday June 24,
2020
Wally The Generalist
Tags #office workers, #sarcasm, #technology, #generalist, #subject, #matter, #expert, #help
Transcript
Tina: wally, can you help me on this? wally: no, i'm more of a generalist than a subject matter expert. tina: what kind of work do generalists do? wally: you just saw it.
Friday June 19,
2020
Dilbert Doesn't Believe In Safety
Tags #employees, #office workers, #safety, #sarcasm, #team
Transcript
Tina: Ugh, Dilbert is on the project team? That guy doesn't believe in safety. Man: Just out of curiosity, what evidence of that extremely weird allegation have you seen? Tina: What evidence do you have that you exist? See? Anyone can do that.
Wednesday June 17,
2020
Sarcastic About Safety
Tags #boss, #education, #office workers, #safety, #sarcasm, #training
Transcript
Boss: I hear you were being sarcastic about safety. Obviously, you don't take safety seriously, so I have to send you to a safety re-education camp for a week. Dilbert: That will totally fix this problem. Boss: You just bought yourself an extra week.
Monday June 15,
2020
Real Data
Tags #decision, #office workers, #sarcasm, #dumb, #facts
Transcript
Man: We need to make decisions based on real data! Dilbert: Who do you imagine disagrees with that obvious statement? Man: Uh-oh. I just realized I'm dumb and never knew it. Dilbert: I hear it can sneak up on you.
Monday June 08,
2020
Disbanding Task Force
Tags #boss, #business, #decision, #office workers, #sarcasm, #technology
Transcript
Boss: Why did you disband the technology task force? They were critical. CEO: I didn't. I just replaced the people and changed the mission. Boss: That sounds a lot like disbanding it. CEO: Really? I was hoping it didn't.
Saturday May 30,
2020
Why Use Tests
Tags #diseases, #health & safety, #medical, #office workers, #sarcasm, #pandemic, #virus, #diagnose
Transcript
Dilbert: No face mask? Boss: I have antibodies for the virus. I'm pretty sure I had the virus last January when I had a throat tickle. Dilbert: I wonder why virus test kits exist when we can just ask people if they had it. Boss: I was wondering the same.
Friday May 22,
2020
Virus Hellscape
Tags #boss, #diseases, #office workers, #virus, #pandemic
Transcript
Boss: Do you have ten munutes to come talk to me about the project timeline. Dilbert: Yes, but it isn't worth exposing myself to you virus-droplet hellscape. Boss: I'll just guess what you would have said. Dilbert: I think that's best.