Kick Comic Strips - Page 3

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

36 Results for Kick

View 21 - 30 results for kick comic strips. Discover the best "Kick" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new employee programs, #new dignity enhancement program, #drug testing, #clue meter, #reading zero, #handsome coffee mug

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice, Wally, Dilbert and the Boss sit around a conference table. The Boss says, "We're announcing two new programs for employees." The Boss continues, "The first is a new dignity enhancement program and the second is our new random drug testing initiative." Alice says to Wally, "The clue meter is reading zero." The Boss reaches toward them holding a coffee mug and says, "You each get a handsome coffee mug as part of the kick-off."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #united charity, #kick off, #headless man, #inspirational speaker, #dignity, #quations, #head count report

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally hands a piece of paper to Dilbert and says, "Be at the 'United Charity' kickoff tomorrow." While Dilbert reads the paper Wally says, "I hired a headless man to be our inspirational speaker." Wally, Sally and the Boss are seated and a headless man stands in front of them with a microphone, making a speech. The headless man says, ". . . and that's how 'United Charity' game me back my dignity. Any questions?" The Boss raises his hand and asks, "How do you show up on a headcount report?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #invite yourself, #meeting, #split donut, #ratbert at meeting, #no experience in marketing, #advised, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert arrives at home carrying a briefcase and says to Dogbert, "I didn't get the job in marketing. They say I have no experience." Dogbert responds, "Try inviting yourself to meetings. Nobody ever says no, and they're too timid to kick you out once you sit down." Wally, Dilbert and Alice sit at a conference table. Ratbert stands on the table next to a box of donuts and says, "Does anybody want to split a donut? I'll just take half and leave the rest."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #iso 9000 project, #hand picked, #manger, #project

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits at a desk and says, "Thank you for coming to the 'ISO 9000' project kick-off meeting." Dilbert continues, "Each of you was hand-picked by your manager for this project because . . ." Dilbert faces a table of strange people and says, "Well . . . never mind why."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #build, #meeting, #project kick off, #project manager, #super fast microchips, #harder to saboatge, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

"Thank you all for coming to the project kick-off meeting." "As project manager I've decided not to tell you the purpose of the project. That way it will be harder for you to sabotage it." "Does it require ny super-fast microchips?" "Good lord, no. Don't build any of those...by Tuesday."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #synthetic pheremone, #irresitable, #cafe, #waiter, #paid off, #kill, #mace myself

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "I'm wearing a synthetic pheremone scent that makes me irresistible. It should kick in any minute." Tina: "Uh-oh." Tina: "Waiter! Here's three hundred dollars. If I start to flirt with him, kill him!" Dilbert: "So far so good" Tina: "I've got to...mace...myself..."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #outdoors, #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #aerobics

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert, Wally and Alice stand in front of Dogbert wearing shorts and t-shirts. Dogbert says, "Skeptics say that a company fitness program will not succeed. Let's do some aerobics and see who's right!" Dilbert and the other engineers hit and kick each other as they try to do aerobics. The employees lie in a pile on the floor. Dilbert says, "The skeptics are right." Dogbert replies, "We usually are."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #trial, #judge, #Dogbert, #jury, #Men, #Women, #civil suit

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says to the members of the jury, "Before you decide who wins this civil suit, remember this . . ." Dogbert continues, "I can't legally offer you large cash kick-backs for deciding in my favor. But please take a moment to complete a self-addressed stamped envelope." The judge asks, "What are you doing?" Dogbert replies, "I'm trying to establish 'reasonable doubt.'"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #violence, #the boss, #Dilbert, #alice, #ted, #program, #humor, #kick me, #relaxed, #creative, #advantage, #situation

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss hands a sign to Dilbert, Alice and Ted. The Boss says, "As part of my program to use more humor at work, I'm asking each of you to wear a 'kick me' sign." The Boss tapes a sign to Dilbert's back and says, "I'll check later to see if you're more relaxed and creative." Later, the Boss says to Alice, "You seem to be taking unfair advantage of the situation, Alice." Dilbert and two male co-workers stand covering their groins and looking like they are in pain.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #meeting, #agenda, #specific, #emotional, #statements, #work

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert, Ted and a woman sit at a conference table. Ted says, "Thank you all for coming. There's no specific agenda for this meeting . . ." Ted continues, "As usual, we'll just make unrelated emotional statements about things which bother us. I'll kick it off . . ." Ted throws his head back and yells, "There's never time to get any work done around here!!"