Kill Plants Comic Strips - Page 3

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190 Results for Kill Plants

View 21 - 30 results for kill plants comic strips. Discover the best "Kill Plants" comics from Dilbert.com.

Virtual Vr And Jail Program

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Virtual Vr And Jail Program - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 21, 2017's comic on:


Tags #virtual reality, #cubicle, #office, #torture

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Dilbert: As you requested, I wrote a VR program that makes users feel as if they are in cubicles. I put only your name on the credits because I expect an angry mob to kill whoever created it. I also wrote a VR jail program in case you want to be in protective custody. Boss: I might need that.

Boss Wrecks Car

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Boss Wrecks Car - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 24, 2016's comic on:


Tags #text, #distraction, #texting, #murder, #plot, #driving

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Boss: I wrecked my car because I was responding to your urgent text. For the third time in a row. Carol: What are you implying? Boss: Are you trying to kill me? Carol: I blame your bad judgment.

Texting The Boss

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Texting The Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 23, 2016's comic on:


Tags #texting, #driving, #distraction, #trick, #murder, #killing, #malice

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Carol: Hold on, I have to text my boss while he's driving. I'll say it's a crisis so he has to text back. Dilbert: Is it legal to kill him that way? Carol: Yes, I checked with a lawyer first.

Cartoonist Says Something Bad On Social Media Real

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Cartoonist Says Something Bad On Social Media Real - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 12, 2016's comic on:


Tags #engineers, #sociopath, #pathology, #hit man, #murder, #killing, #morals, #emotions

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CEO: The famous cartoonist we hired to be our spokesperson said something bad on social media. Boss: Oh no. How bad is it? CEO: Our board voted to kill him. Do you know any sociopaths? Boss: I'm head of Engineering. CEO: Good point. Pick any one of them.

Drone Defense Kills Birds

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Drone Defense Kills Birds - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 05, 2016's comic on:


Tags #invention, #drone, #national security, #design, #birds, #flying, #collateral damage

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Boss: How's the drone defense shield design coming along? Dilbert: Super. The only risk is that it will kill every bird in the sky on day one. Boss: Don't birds have feet? They can just walk. Dilbert: I'll add that to the slide deck.

Twitter The Video Game

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Twitter The Video Game - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 14, 2016's comic on:


Tags #twitter, #social media, #game, #ignorance, #trick, #prank, #technology

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Dilbert: Our sales dropped to zero after you offended customers on Twitter. Did someone tell you Twitter was a video game? Narrator: One week ago. Boss: And how would I kill these trolls? Wally: With your words.

For The Good Of The Country

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For The Good Of The Country - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 19, 2016's comic on:


Tags #apple, #iphone, #technology, #national security, #privacy, #terrorism, #encryption

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Boss: The government wants us to make software to crack our own encryption. Dilbert: That sounds evil. Boss: It's for the good of the country. Dilbert: Can I test it on your phone? Boss: You'd have to kill me first. Dilbert: That would be two good things for the country.

Asok Not A Terrorist

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Asok Not A Terrorist - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 30, 2016's comic on:


Tags #terrorist, #terrorism, #extremism, #frustration, #racism, #accusation, #accuse

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Boss: Did you threaten to kill Dick? Asok: He accused me of being a terrorist! Boss: Are you? Asok: Gaaa! I just want to blow up this whole building! Boss: Um... I need to make a call. Asok: It better not be about me!

Dick Acuses Asok

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Dick Acuses Asok - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 29, 2016's comic on:


Tags #internet, #comment, #troll, #bait, #terrorism, #terrorist, #accuse, #accusation, #forum, #technology

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Dick From The Internet. Dick: I hear you're a terrorist sympathizer. Asok: Noooo! That is a racist rumor. Dick: You must be guilty or you wouldn't be denying it so hard. Just admit you want to kill me. Asok: Now I do want to kill you!!!

Death By Emoji

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Death By Emoji - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 07, 2015's comic on:


Tags #emoji, #communication, #miscommunication, #murder, #crime, #deception, #engineers, #work ethic

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Boss: I tried to use emoji characters and accidentally ordered two of my engineers to kill Ted. They say they did it. CEO: Did the engineers complain about being too busy to do it? Boss: No. Oh, I see it now. CEO: Total hoax.