Leadership Skills Comic Strips - Page 3
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Character
246 Results for Leadership Skills
View 21 - 30 results for leadership skills comic strips. Discover the best "Leadership Skills" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday October 08,
2017
Tags #character, #judging, #prediction, #reading, #con
Transcript
Boss: I'm a good judge of people. Dilbert: Really? What am I thinking right now? Boss: Hmmm... You're wondering how you could be more like me. You admire my leadership, and you write about me in glowing terms in your diary. Dilbert: What diary? Boss: Shhh! I'm still reading you. You have no patience and you don't like to be judged. Dilbert: Okay, that's enough. Boss: Nailed it!
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Thursday August 31,
2017
View From Thirty Thousand Feet
Tags #distance, #jargon, #managers, #leadership, #buzzwords, #guidance
Transcript
Boss: What's the view on this from thirty thousand feet? Alice: From that distance, everything we do is meaningless. Boss: Then how do we know what to do? Alice: I guess we ruled out "leadership."
Sunday July 30,
2017
Tags #boss, #leadership, #power, #influence
Transcript
Boss: Why isn't your project done? Dilbert: I can't make the people on my team do any work because I'm not their boss. Boss: Sure you can. It's called leadership. I do it all the time. Dilbert: All you do is threaten to fire people. I can't do that because I"m not their boss. Boss: That's why you have to use your soft leadership skills A good leader can get people to do anything. Dilbert: Then why couldn't you get me to finish my project on time? And why do you pay me? You could just lead me to work for free. Boss: Shut up or I'll fire you.
Saturday March 25,
2017
Wally's Coffee Drone
Tags #managers, #management, #ideas, #invention, #coffee
Transcript
Wally: My leadership job didn't last long. I got demoted back to engineering. I guess they realized all of my ideas are about coffee. Dilbert: I've noticed that too. Wally: Watch out for my coffee drone behind you.
Friday March 24,
2017
Wally Gets Promoted
Tags #managers, #management, #leadership, #laziness, #work ethic
Transcript
Wally: I got promoted to a leadership role. It means I get to tell people to work hard, but I don't have to do any worm myself. Dilbert: That doesn't sound right. Wally: I could use a fresh one of these.
Thursday March 23,
2017
Wally's Invention Is The Best Seller Ever
Tags #success, #Promotion, #management, #work, #laziness
Transcript
Boss: The product you accidentally invented is our biggest seller in company history. So I'm promoting you to a leadership position. Wally: Phew! I thought you were going to make me work.
Wednesday February 15,
2017
Resources Complain
Tags #leadership, #language, #jargon, #manager
Transcript
Man: I want to lodge a complaint against Dilbert. He called me a "resource." I find that offensive. Boss: Then he offended one of the resources. CEO: You're right. He does sound like a natural leader.
Tuesday February 14,
2017
Looks Good But Won't Work
Tags #ideas, #impracticality, #managers, #leadership, #threat
Transcript
Boss: The one they call Dilbert suggested we do something that looks good but won't work. CEO: Is this the first trace of management potential you've seen from him? Boss: You think it's a fluke? CEO: Let's keep an eye on it.
Sunday January 15,
2017
Tags #job, #scope, #negotiating, #engineer, #demands, #failure, #stress, #business, #engineering
Transcript
Boss: We need to cut our budget. Go to all of our vendors and tell them to reduce their prices. Dilbert: Why would they do that for us? Boss: Tell them we'll buy from someone else unless they do. Dilbert: That's what we told them to get the prices we have now. I'm an engineer, not a professional negotiator. Your plan has failure designed into it. Your poor leadership already has me on the edge of madness. This could push me over the edge. Boss: And I need it done by Tuesday.
Thursday December 29,
2016
Oxygen Not In The Budget
Tags #space flight, #astronaut, #oxygen, #breathing, #leadership, #obliviousness
Transcript
Boss: I'm happy to announce that we launched our company's spaceship to Mars. We only had enough in the budget to give them oxygen for three-quarters of the trip. So I told them to breathe smarter, not harder. It's called leadership.