Less Follow Thorugh Comic Strips - Page 3

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312 Results for Less Follow Thorugh

View 21 - 30 results for less follow thorugh comic strips. Discover the best "Less Follow Thorugh" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 26, 2017's comic on:


Tags #negotiation, #demand, #haggle, #prices, #pricing, #negotiate

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Boss: Negotiate with your vendor and get the price down. Dilbert: I don't know how to negotiate. I'm an engineer. Boss: It's simple. All you need to do is make an aggressive first demand and settle for less. Dilbert: How aggressive are we talking about here? Boss: The more aggressive the better. Dilbert: That doesn't sound right. Boss: Trust me. More is better. Dilbert: My opening demand is that you name me as a beneficiary on your life insurance police, mow my lawn, and die in traffic on the way home. Boss: You got the price down by 35 percent. Dilbert: I really hoped it wouldn't work.

Wally Is Working If You Don't See Him

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Wally Is Working If You Don't See Him - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 10, 2017's comic on:


Tags #laziness, #deception, #invisibility, #work ethic

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Boss: How's your stealth clothing project coming along? Wally: Great. I'm usually testing the prototype in the office. That's why you rarely see me working. Boss: So... the less I see you work, the more successful you must be? Wally: It's just common sense.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 01, 2017's comic on:


Tags #micromanaging, #managers, #productivity, #google

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Boss: I have a meeting in a few minutes, so I only have time to do some micromanaging. Dilbert: Wouldn't it be better do do regular managing? Boss: I don't have time for the regular kind. Dilbert: Then wouldn't it be better to do no managing at all? Boss: Some is better than none. Dilbert: Except when less is more. Boss: This got too complicated. How about I just stand behind you and suggest you Google stuff? Dilbert: Fine. I wish I had some data for this. Boss: Try Googling it.rnet,

Dogbert's Unreliable Research Company

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Dogbert's Unreliable Research Company - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 16, 2017's comic on:


Tags #research, #truth, #accuracy, #lying, #market research, #yes-man, #science

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Dogbert: I'm the CEO of Dogbert's Unreliable Research Company. My services cost less than regular research because all I do is tell you whatever you want to hear. CEO: Is that defensible? Dogbert: I'm sensing you want a yes on that.

Wally's Excuses List

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Wally's Excuses List - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 25, 2017's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #work ethic, #laziness, #excuses, #avoidance, #business

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Wally: Work got a lot easier after I compiled a list of all my best work-avoidance excuses. Man: Wally, can you attend my project meeting? Wally: Well, let me check. Man: I haven't told you when we're meeting. Wally: That matters less than you think it should.

Move To Cubicles Is Complete

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Move To Cubicles Is Complete - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 01, 2017's comic on:


Tags #office workers, #office, #cubicle, #depression, #psychology

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Dilbert: We're done moving the staff from the open office plan back to cubicles. Now they will be less distracted when they focus on the crushing futility of their assignments. Boss: Good job. Dilbert: If you need me, I'll be in my fabric-covered box.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 18, 2017's comic on:


Tags #work ethic, #laziness, #group project

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Boss: I'd like to thank each member of the product team for the successful launch. Dilbert wrote the software. Alice designed the hardware. And Wally... um... Wally: Attended most of the meetings. Boss: That's all you did? Wally: I also played devil's advocate. Dilbert: You didn't say a word during our meetings for seven months. Wally: That's because you were doing everything right. Boss: Did you really do nothing for seven months? Wally: This is one of those "less is more" situations.

Better Listener Robot

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Better Listener Robot - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 05, 2017's comic on:


Tags #robot, #boyfriend, #free will, #programming, #listening, #Opinion, #relationships, #technology

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Alice: I'm updating your boyfriend code to make you a better listener. I want to see more nodding and less talking. Robot: But I have so much to offer. Alice: I'll dial back your ego, too.

Boss Tweets Racist Stuff

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Boss Tweets Racist Stuff - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 25, 2017's comic on:


Tags #cell phone, #conversation, #desk, #sitting, #technology

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You retweeted a racist conspiracy theory. I did? I checked snopes.com, and they say it is not true that Elbonians evolved from pandas less than a hundred years ago. You might want to delete the tweet. nah. What's the worst that can happen?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 01, 2017's comic on:


Tags #happiness, #work, #torture, #human resources, #hr, #manipulation, #content, #psychology, #business

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Catbert: The one called Dilbert is showing signs of happiness at work. Boss: That means we can give him more work and he won't quit. Excellent. Is anyone else exhibiting signs of unauthorized happiness? Catbert: No. Everyone else is in the narrow band of misery you want them to be in. If they were any happier, it would mean you're overpaying them. If they were any less happy, the would take their own lives. If you don't hear any laughing or screaming, it means you're doing something right. Boss: What about moans? Catbert: Moans are ideal. That's the sweet spot.