Life Isn't Fair Comic Strips - Page 3

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798 Results for Life Isn't Fair

View 21 - 30 results for life isn't fair comic strips. Discover the best "Life Isn't Fair" comics from Dilbert.com.

Golden Age For Wally

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Golden Age For Wally - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags 6 feet, avoid, coffee, eye contact, face mask, grocery shopping, office workers, social distancing, upgrade, Women

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wally at coffee pot talking to Dilbert:: social distancing has been a great upgrade to my life. in the old days, women avoided me by at least ten feet. now i often get within seven. i think it's because i'm better-looking with most of my face covered. especially if i wear a hat and sunglasses. and i learned that women will talk to me if i walk the wrong way down a grocery aisle. they're usually complaining but at least they make eye contact. it's sort of a golden age for people like me.

Doubled Income

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Doubled Income - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, sarcasm, business, income, double, insincere, gesture, pandemic, people, suffering, coronavirus, appearance, empathy, face mask

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boss: we doubled our income during the pandemic, and it isn't a good look. we need to make some sort of insincere gesture of support for people who are suffering. dilbert: or we could actually help people. boss: i'm thinking more along the lines of a sign in the foyer.

Lifetime Of Being Wrong

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Lifetime Of Being Wrong  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office workers, wrong, decision, career, assess, life, sarcasm, face mask

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dilbert: i think you're wrong. co-worker: what error did i make? dilbert: i'm basing my decision on your entire career of being wrong about everything. i hope i'm not the first person to point that out. co-worker: give a minute to reassess my entire life.

Boss Not Returning Messages

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Boss Not Returning Messages  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, office workers, business, boss, fire, message, importance, sarcasm, employment, face mask

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asok: our pointy-haired boss isn't returning my messages, do you think he plans to fire me? dilbert: no asok: phew! good. dilbert: you're just totally unimportant to him. asok: yes! that's where i want to be!

Not A Monopoly

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Not A Monopoly - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, senior managment, ceo, government, monopoly, product, essential, modern, life, competition, company, compete, buy out, fail, face mask

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ceo: the government is threatening to regulate us like a monopoly. boss: are we not a monopoly? ceo: we are simply a company that makes an essential product for modern life, and we have no real competition. boss: that sounds like a monopoly. ceo: no, we are not because other companies could compete with us if they wanted. boss: and of they tried? ceo: as soon as they got some traction we'd buy them and shut them down. dilbert: so... they would fail every time. ceo: but they could try.

Ratio Is Too High

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Ratio Is Too High - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, expense, budget, capital, ratio, too high, afford, standards, historical, irrelevant, manage, department

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boss: we need to reduce our expense budget to 40% of our capital budget. dilbert: why do we need to do that? boss: because the ratio is too high. dilbert: are you saying we can't afford it? boss: no. i'm saying the ratio is too high. dilbert: okay, but by what standard is it "too high"? boss: by historical standards, it has never been this high. dilbert: i don't think we want to start using an irrelevant ratio to manage the department. boss: to be fair, this is just the first time you noticed.

Helpful Advice

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Helpful Advice   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office workers, technology, Advice, personal, life, quality, work

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co-worker: can i give you some helpful advice? dilbert: judging by the quality of your life, i'd say you probably can't. co-worker: leave my personal life out of it. dilbert: okay, let's talk about the putrid quality of your work.

Boss Fired For Being White Supremacist

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Boss Fired For Being White Supremacist  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, racism, fired, employees, white supremacist, apathy, career, punch, witness, denial

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ceo: i have to fire you because employees are saying you are a white supremacist. boss: but i'm not. ceo: doesn't matter. i care more about my career than your life. boss: you're firing me just to look good? ceo: and i'll need to punch you in front of witnesses.

Lack Of Social Contact

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Lack Of Social Contact - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office workers, pandemic, technology, social, contact, best, week, covid, cope

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Wally and Dilbert at coffee pot wearing face masks. dilbert: how did you cope with the loss of social contact during the pandemic? wally: best weeks of my life. how about you? dilbert: i didn't want to be the first to say it.

Need Boss To Make Decision

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Need Boss To Make Decision - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags argument, boss, decision, engineering, knowledge, marketing, office workers, sarcasm, technology

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Dilbert: We need your help making a decision. Jeff doesn't understand my product strategy because he isn't an engineer. And I don't understand any of his marketing nonsense. That's why we came to you. Boss: Because I understand both marketing and engineering? Dilbert: No, it's because you don't understand either one. We didn't have a coin to flip, and your decisions are totally random, so... Boss: Maybe you could describe the situation. Dilbert: I don't see how that helps.