Liquidity To Stupidity Comic Strips - Page 3

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73 Results for Liquidity To Stupidity

View 21 - 30 results for liquidity to stupidity comic strips. Discover the best "Liquidity To Stupidity" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sitting, #meeting, #drugs, #medicing, #explaining, #screaming, #scared, #stupidity, #suggestion, #business

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Man says, "My prescription meds cause drowsiness." Man says, "So I got a second prescription that causes phantom-hand syndrome to slap me at random intervals." Alice says, "Maybe you should use a doctor who has less-effective pharmaceutical reps in his territory." Man says, "Fist!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #costume, #halloween, #ridicule, #criticism, #stupidity, #mocking, #holiday

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The Boss says, "What exactly is your Halloween costume supposed to be?" Wally says, "I'm going for a village idiot vibe, with a dash of Quasimodo." The Boss says, "Why does it seem so familiar?" Dilbert says, "I'm someone's management style."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sitting, #criticism, #ridicule, #stupidity, #ignoring, #distracted, #work, #desk, #forgetting

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the Boss says, "Why didn't you get my input on the vendor selection?" Dilbert says, "I tried, but?" Dilbert says, "You're so easily distracted that for all practical purposes you're nothing but furniture with coffee breath." The Boss says, "Where were we?" Dilbert says, "You were praising me for my good attitude."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #asking, #project, #procrastination, #excuses, #stupidity, #lying

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The boss says, "Wally, are you done with your project yet?" Wally says, "I'll be done next week." The Boss says ,"You've said, 'Next week' for seven weeks in a row. What makes you think I'm going to believe it this time?" Wally says, "The first six times?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #processes, #discussion, #plans, #chicken, #ridicule, #stupidity, #business

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The Boss says, "Today, we'll discuss ways to improve our workflow process." The Boss says ,"As you know, a good process is a substitute for good employees." The Boss says, "The ultimate goal is to simplify our processes so much?" The Boss says, "That we can train chickens to do your jobs in return for pellets." The Boss says, "We'll begin by discussing our process for funding new projects." The Boss says, "Could any part of our process be replaced by, for example, ringing a bell with your beak?" Alice says, "Yes, but only the part that you do." The Boss says, "There's a wrinkle in the plan." Chicken thinks, "Pellet"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Advice, #problems, #solution, #misunderstanding, #ignoring, #confused, #stupidity

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Dilbert says, "You're paying contractors to do work that I could do if I weren't always in unproductive meetings." Dilbert says, "You could hire temps to attend the unproductive meetings for me, and fire the more expensive contractors." Dilbert says, "Why don't I understand what you just said?" Dilbert says, "Because it made sense?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sitting, #talking, #angry, #annoyed, #stupidity, #ridicule

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The Boss says, "Alice, I thought it was time for us to have a little mentoring session." Alice says, "How does this make sense when I'm more capable than you in every imporant way?" The Boss says, "Maybe we can skip the part where I say you need to be more confident and speak out at meetings." Alice says, "Duh,"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #frustrated, #angry, #stupidity, #forgetful, #yelling, #ignorant

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Dilbert says, "?And those are the four things I need you to ask our VP of marketing." The Boss says, "Got it." Dilbert says, "Maybe you should write them down." The boss says, "I'll remember." Dilbert says, "You have a lot on your mind. A little note might be a good idea." The Boss says, "How hard is it to remember three things?" The boss says, "Sheesh!" Dilbert says, "Four things! There are four questions!" The Boss says, "Right, right. There's the one about the battery and the other two." Dilbert says, "There are four questions! Four, four, four!!! And none of them are about a battery!" Later that day The boss says, "Should the new software have a battery?" Man says, "How would I know?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #asking, #resources, #problem, #ridiculous, #stupidity, #bureaucracy

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Dilbert says, "I need more resources on my project." The Boss says, "I'll give you someone from Alice's project." Dilbert says, "Then Alice won't have enough resources." The boss says, "I can only solve one problem at a time." Alice says, "Did he solve your problem?" Dilbert says, "I'm going to say yes."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #introduction, #consultant, #stupidity, #Advice, #confused, #questioning, #business

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The boss says, "I hired my unemployed golf buddy to consult." Dilbert says, "What are his qualifications?" The boss says, "He has two qualifications: He's unemployed and he's a golf buddy." Man says, "I recommend firing the whistleblower and playing nine before it gets dark."