Low Cost Comic Strips - Page 3
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276 Results for Low Cost
View 21 - 30 results for low cost comic strips. Discover the best "Low Cost" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday August 16,
2017
Dogbert's Unreliable Research Company
Tags #research, #truth, #accuracy, #lying, #market research, #yes-man, #science
Transcript
Dogbert: I'm the CEO of Dogbert's Unreliable Research Company. My services cost less than regular research because all I do is tell you whatever you want to hear. CEO: Is that defensible? Dogbert: I'm sensing you want a yes on that.
Thursday May 18,
2017
Why Did The Algorithm Bump Dilbert
Tags #airlines, #air travel, #flight, #overbooking, #customer service
Transcript
Dilbert: Why did your algorithm pick me to be bumped from the full flight? Is it because I had the lowest-cost ticket? Agent: It was that plus your lack of upper body strength.
Sunday April 02,
2017
Tags #tldr, #email, #communication, #patience, #criticism
Transcript
Man: Did you read my email? Dilbert: No, it was too long. Man: Maybe you could read it when you have more time. Dilbert: I never have time to read email messages that are too long. Maybe you could rewrite it to be shorter. Man: I don't have time to rewrite it. Dilbert: And I don't have time to read it. Man: If no one reads that email, it will mean I wasted two hours writing it. Dilbert: Plus, you're wasting my time right now. Don't forget to include that in your failure assessment. Man: I had high hopes for that email. Dilbert: It's a sunk cost. Let it go.
Sunday February 26,
2017
Tags #wages, #cost of living, #raise, #money, #rent, #apartment, #roommate, #space
Transcript
Asok: I need a raise because the cost of living around here is too high. Boss: Stop being greedy. I pay you plenty. Asok: I can't even afford to rent an apartment. Boss: Get some roommates. Asok: I can't afford that either. I've been sleeping on a baby changing table in a public restroom. And the janitor has been charging me $3,000 per month for that. Boss: How wide is the baby changing table? Asok: Not wide enough for a roommate. Boss: Well, I'm out of ideas.
Sunday February 05,
2017
Tags #sarcasm, #obliviousness, #future, #psychic
Transcript
Boss: Do these cost estimates include everything? Dilbert: Yes, because I know what happens in the future. I didn't think I could accurately predict the future until you trusted me to put this budget together. I thought there were too many variables to know how things will turn out. But I defer to your superior opinion. Wait... I'm getting another message from the future. It says to raise the software budget by nine dollars. Boss: Okay, that sounds right. Dilbert: Of course it does. Trust your instincts.
Monday November 21,
2016
Seventeen Hour Flight To Elbonia
Tags #fair, #comfort, #flying, #money, #budget, #cost, #selfish
Transcript
Dilbert: The flight to Elbonia is seventeen hours. Can I fly business class? Boss: No, because your pain will be temporary, but I won't get my bonus if I go over budget. Try being a team player for once. Dilbert: I didn't know Satan had a team.
Saturday November 05,
2016
Tina Gives Buy In
Tags #negotiation, #money, #price, #cost, #value
Transcript
Dilbert: I need everyone's buy-in on my project. Tina: You can have my buy-in for $25. Dilbert: Ted only charged me $15. Tina: It isn't my fault that Ted is a bad negotiator.
Wednesday October 26,
2016
Sales Is Blaming Marketing
Tags #sales, #responsibility, #blame, #business
Transcript
Boss: Our salespeople are blaming Marketing for the low demand. Marketing is blaming Engineering for making a product no one wants. So I blamed our customers for misleading us about their needs. Asok: Now I don't feel so bad about our price-gouging.
Saturday October 15,
2016
Blame Rolls Downhill
Tags #blame, #responsibility, #management
Transcript
Boss: Our CEO blamed the Sales department for our low revenue. Sales blamed Marketing and Marketing blamed Engineering. Guess why I'm here. Dilbert: To shield me from unfair accusations?
Monday October 03,
2016
Dilbert Recommends Firing Ted
Tags #money, #cost, #fired, #layoff, #suggestion
Transcript
Boss: We need to cut our expenses. Dilbert: I recommend eliminating Ted's job. Ted: What??? I recommend eliminating Dilbert's job! Just because he said it first??? Boss: Let's not over-analyze it.