Lower Pay Comic Strips - Page 3
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389 Results for Lower Pay
View 21 - 30 results for lower pay comic strips. Discover the best "Lower Pay" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday April 28,
2019
Wally Needs A Raise
Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #system, #architect, #Promotion, #pay raise
Transcript
wally: our new system installation is a catastrophe. wally: we need to tear it out and re-architect it from scratch. wally: i'm the only person qualified to lead that effort. wally: but given the enormity of the job, i won't do it without a raise or promotion. the boss: weren't you the cause of the catastrophe? wally: exactly: that's why i'm the only person who knows how to fix it. the boss: are you blackmailing me? wally: no, it's nothing like that. the boss: wouldn't i be rewarding you for failure? wally: let's not label it.
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Wednesday April 24,
2019
Be More Like Alice
Tags #complain, #office, #office workers, #pay raise
Transcript
the boss: i can't give you a raise because you didn't do anything noteworthy this year. dilbert: it only seems that way because i'm so good at my job that i make it look easy and never complain. alice visually upset and yelling: my job is a nightmare!!! the boss: why can't you be more like alice?
Wednesday February 13,
2019
Lower The Price
Tags #boss, #business, #office, #office workers, #prices, #negotiate
Transcript
Dilbert: My boss will yell at me if I don't negotiate a lower price. What can you do for me? Man: I lowered the price by ten percent before I showed it to you. Dilbert: I have no way of verifying your claim. Man: Neither does your boss. Problem solved.
Saturday February 02,
2019
Take The Stairs
Tags #birthdays, #encouragement, #exercise & fitness, #health, #office, #office workers, #company, #life insurance
Transcript
Boss: The company encourages you to take the stairs instead of the elevator because it is good for your health. Ted: I take the elevator because my life insurance doesn't pay off if I kill myself all at once. Boss: On another topic, we will celebrate birthdays this month with cake in the break room. Ted: Perfect.
Friday December 07,
2018
Keeping The Worthless People
Tags #boss, #employees, #managers & supervisors, #salary, #incompetence
Transcript
Boss: I've noticed that 20% of my employees do 80% of the work around here. But I need to keep all of the worthless employees because my pay is based on how many people report to me. Catbert: Doesn't their incompetence bother you? Boss: Not since I found a way to get paid for it.
Sunday November 04,
2018
Tags #Advice, #business, #criticism, #employment, #managers & supervisors, #office workers
Transcript
Asok: I'm thinking of getting a degree in business and moving onto the management track. Is it fun being a boss? Boss: It's the best! I haven't done anything hard since the day I got this job. I mostly just criticize idiots all day long. It's as if the company is paying me to do my hobby. Speaking of pay, my salary is about triple your pay. Asok: Is there any downside? Boss: I had a lot of guilt at first. Asok: It must have been awful. Boss: Yes, it was the longest ten minutes of my life.
Friday November 02,
2018
Punishing For Others
Tags #employment, #engineering, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #salary
Transcript
Boss: We've decided to level the organization. This means a slight pay cut for senior engineers such as yourself, but I hope you'll be a team player. Dilbert: Are you punishing me for the mediocrity of others? Boss: Only indirectly.
Thursday July 05,
2018
Contractor Wants To Be Employee
Tags #negotiation, #contract work, #contractor, #pay.wages
Transcript
Man: I've been a contractor here for over a year. Maybe you should just hire me. Boss: Who are you? I didn't even know I was paying you. Man: Perhaps we can pretend this conversation never happened. Boss: That feels like the best option.
Tuesday July 03,
2018
Dilbert And Monkeys
Tags #motivation, #work ethic, #engagement, #monkeys
Transcript
Dilbert: I don't feel my job is helping me reach my human potential. Boss: We only pay you because monkeys are hard to train and robots are expensive. Dilbert; Maybe I'll just play with my phone and pretend to work. Boss: That's what got the monkey fired.
Sunday May 06,
2018
Tags #insurance, #humiliation, #death, #scam, #darwin awards, #spin, #headline, #media, #Entertainment, #medical
Transcript
Dogbert: Would you like to buy an insurance policy to protect against a humorous death? Boss: Why would I need it? Dogbert: well, let's say you're at the zoo and you drop your sunglasses into the lion pit. You lower yourself into the pit to get the sunglasses, but the lions get to you first. You don't want the headlines to read "Pointy-haired Idiot Mauled To Death By The King Of The Jungle." So instead, the moment you die, my agents rush in to create a narrative for the media. In this case, we might spin the story as "Local Man Teaches Zoo How To Reduce Food Costs." Boss: Are the policies affordable? Dogbert: Yes, if you waive the coverage for mascot-related deaths.