Meeting Here Comic Strips - Page 3

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944 Results for Meeting Here

View 21 - 30 results for meeting here comic strips. Discover the best "Meeting Here" comics from Dilbert.com.

I Can't Hear You

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I Can't Hear You  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, video call, engineer, sales, dumb, hear, inaudible, meeting, long

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Alice on video call. voice from laptop: i can't hear you. Alice: well, i'm an engineer, and you're in sales, so that narrows it down to some dumb thing you're doing. voice from laptop yelling: i...can't...hear...you... alice: this is going to be a long meeting.

Traumatic Story

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Traumatic Story - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags mental health, sales, sales personnel, business, technology, salesman, traumatic, experience, child, story, relate, manipulate, emotions, short-circuit, critical, thinking

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salesman in meeting: before i tell you about our newest product, i'd like to tell you a story about a traumatic experience i had as a child. wally: is your story related to the topic, or is it just an excuse to yammer about something that happened to you? salesman: i'm trying to manipulaye your emotions to short-circuit your critical thinking. wally: okay. carry on.

Wally And The Big Picture

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Wally And The Big Picture - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office workers, sarcasm, big picture, fact check, meeting, finish, donut, beat

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wally: the reason i'm here is to help you look at the big picture. dilbert: i'll need a fact-check on that. i think you stayed over from the last meeting to finish your donut. wally eating a donut: it seems you beat me to the big picture.

Fraud Presenter

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Fraud Presenter  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, presentation, incorrect, fraud, exposed, resignation, immediate, meeting, won

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co-worker making a presentation with graph. wally: is it a coincidence that the only part of your presentation i understand is also clearly wrong? co-worker: well, you caught me. i'm actually a fraud. i offer my resignation, effective immediately. goodbye. wally to dilbert: this is the first time i ever won a meeting. i have to say, it feels good.

Alice Needs A Snack

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Alice Needs A Snack - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags decision, managers & supervisors, meeting, break, hungry, snack

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alice: i'm too hungry to make good decisions. i need a break so i can eat a snack. boss: how do you know your decisions are bad? alice: i'm starting to agree with you. boss: i don't understand. alice is gone: exactly

Teamwork But

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Teamwork But - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags technology, business, teamwork, limit, competition, salary, funds, battle, meeting, thinking, sarcasm

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boss: the key to success is teamwork. dilbert: then why does our compensation system pit employees against each other to battle for limited funds salary funds? boss: this meeting will go a lot smoother if you stop doing whatever you're doing right now. dilbert: i call it "thinking."

Stapler Training

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Stapler Training  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, training, planning, meeting, stapler, safety, mandatory, fight

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boss: dilbert, what have you accomplished since our planning meeting? dilbert: the planning meeting was this morning. all i've done since then is take a mandatory training class on stapler safety. boss: but now you're fresh and ready for the fight? dilbert: only if it's a stapler fight.

Wally Answers Texts Later

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Wally Answers Texts Later  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, sarcasm, technology, lazy, working, ignore, text, email, response, data

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asok: i rarely see you working. how do you get away with it? wally: it's easy. i just wait a day before answering any texts or emails. for example, here's alice asking if i can attend a meeting in an hour. i'll answer her in the morning and say i didn't see her message. And here's dilbert asking me for some data. tomorrow, i will text him to ask for clarification, and he will tell me he found the data on his own. asok: don't you feel guilty? wally: nah. they'd do the same to me. asok: and do they? wally: they would if i didn't ignore them first.

No Performance Reviews

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No Performance Reviews  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, employment, managers & supervisors, sarcasm, technology, Political, social, opinions, ranking, acceptable

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boss in staff meeting: the company will no longer do performance reviews. from now on, you will be ranked on the acceptability of your political and social opinions. dilbert: do you have a list of acceptable opinions? boss: there will be no hints.

Coffee Productivity

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Coffee Productivity - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags technology, business, projects, productive, medical, coffee, lie, medical-grade coffee

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wally in meeting with boss and dilbert: i've been highly productive since switching to medical-grade coffee. i finished all of my projects and did an excellent job on every one. boss: wow! dilbert and wally in hall after: so that stuff actually makes you more productive? wally: no, but it does make me lie better.