Money Comic Strips - Page 3

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

586 Results for Money

View 21 - 30 results for money comic strips. Discover the best "Money" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 28, 2018's comic on:

Tags #assignment, #deadline, #free time, #death march, #payment, #salary, #pay check, #bonus, #non caring, #cold, #heartless monster, #no sense shame, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: I need this finished by Friday. Dilbert: This assignment will suck up 100% of my free time and turn my happy life into a f=death march. The boss: Thats why we pay you. You pay me so you can ruin my life? The boos: perhaps i said that wrong. The Boss: what I meant is that I don't care how you fell as long as I get my bonus. Dilbert: You're a cold, heartless monster with no sense of shame!!!! The Boss: That why they pay me.

Boss Loses Wife And Money

Thank you for voting.
Boss Loses Wife And Money - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 14, 2017's comic on:

Tags #role model, #aspiration, #gambler, #gambling, #money, #Win, #Lose, #success, #quitter

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: It's not easy being a professional gambler. I lost a million dollars and my wife in one week. But I don't want to be a quitter because I know you see me as a role model. Carol: My role model is your wife. Boss: You like quitters?

Boss Hits Jackpot

Thank you for voting.
Boss Hits Jackpot - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 13, 2017's comic on:

Tags #gambling, #Win, #loss, #money, #obliviousness, #jackpot

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: My side job as a professional gambler is going great. I won a $5,000 jackpot this weekend. Dilbert: How much did you lose? Boss: About $700,000 and my wife. Wally: Didn't you tell her about the $5,000?

Dogbert The Loan Shark

Thank you for voting.
Dogbert The Loan Shark - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 12, 2017's comic on:

Tags #loan, #loan shark, #money, #racket, #interest

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I need a loan to finance my professional gambling. Dogbert: That sounds like an excellent idea. I charge 40 percent interest per day, and I'll kill you for missing a payment. Boss: What's the catch? Dogbert: I'm also an identity thief.

Virus Gives Everyone A Raise

Thank you for voting.
Virus Gives Everyone A Raise - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 07, 2017's comic on:

Tags #virus, #infection, #computer, #malware, #morals, #salary, #technology, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The Elbonian virus in our network just gave ever employee an ten percent raise. You have to get rid of the virus! Dilbert: If the Elbonian software is giving me a raise, and you're trying to sop it, wouldn't that make you the virus?

View more books now

Boss Finds A Thumb Drive

Thank you for voting.
Boss Finds A Thumb Drive - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 04, 2017's comic on:

Tags #computers, #infection, #malware, #obliviousness, #virus, #hacker, #hacking

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I found a thumb drive on the sidewalk. It must be my lucky day. It's like free money! Dilbert: Can free money infect our network, too? Boss: You worry too much. Dilbert: If you need me, I'll be selling all of my company stock.

Worthless Financial Projections

Thank you for voting.
Worthless Financial Projections - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 29, 2017's comic on:

Tags #money, #finances, #big business, #projection, #prediction, #guessing, #estimate

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Here's the financial projection you asked me to do. It's basically just guessing plus math. Obviously, it's useless for making decisions because I can get any result I want by tweaking the assumptions. Boss: Don't say any of that stuff when you present it to the board tomorrow.

Financial Forecaster Quit

Thank you for voting.
Financial Forecaster Quit - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 28, 2017's comic on:

Tags #big business, #money, #projection, #prediction, #Advice

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our financial forecaster quit. I need you to fill in for him. Dilbert: I don't know how to do financial forecasts. Boss: Neither did he. Dilbert: How were you making decisions? Boss: It's better if we don't excavate that septic tank.

Dogbert's Negotiating Class

Thank you for voting.
Dogbert's Negotiating Class - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 14, 2017's comic on:

Tags #negotiating, #deception, #sales, #manipulation, #deal, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I approved your request to take a negotiating class. Dilbert: Why did you change your mind? Boss: The instructor offered a great deal. Narrator: Earlier that day. Dogbert: Would you like to spend other people's money to get rid of Dilbert for a few days? Boss: Sold!

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 17, 2017's comic on:

Tags #argument, #anger, #frustration, #trolling, #needling

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: And that's how much money the new system will save us per year. Man: Apparently you don't care how much it costs because you're an ignorant narcissist. Dilbert: I talked about the costs in great detail. What's wrong with you? Man: Oh, I guess you're walking it all back now. Dilbert: There's nothing to walk back. I'm saying the same thing I said earlier. Man: Nice try, hypocrite! Dilbert: I don't know what is happening right now!!! Man: Why is he so defensive? Boss: He's losing it.