More Expensive Comic Strips - Page 3
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994 Results for More Expensive
View 21 - 30 results for more expensive comic strips. Discover the best "More Expensive" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday December 15,
2020
Ted Reimagined More
Tags managers & supervisors, business, employment, unnecessary, job, budget, sarcasm
Transcript
boss: when i say we need to reimagine your job, it means we no longer need anyone to do what you have been doing. ted: do you mind if i ask when you first realized that my job was totally unnecessary? boss: it was four years ago, but you seemed happy, and we had the budget to pay you, so...
Thursday December 10,
2020
Pick Midpoint
Tags business, managers & supervisors, technology, projections, accurate, random, guess, midpoint, decision
Transcript
bos: which of your two projections do you think is more accurate? dilbert: they are both random guesses. i made two of them to create an illusion of a credible range. boss: so...would it be reasonable to pick the midpoint? dilbert: it's as reasonable as your other decisions.
Friday December 04,
2020
Thought Leader
Tags business, managers & supervisors, sarcasm, calendar, assistant, leader, delegation, thought, work, hands
Transcript
boss: ask my assistant to put it on my calendar. dilbert: why can't you just put it on your calendar right now? boss: i'm more of a thought leader. i don't like to work with my hands.
Saturday November 14,
2020
Angry Tech Writers
Tags anger, business, exercise, technology, writing, tech writer, underpaid, coffee, hate
Transcript
dilbert: why is your writing so angry? tina: tech writers are underpaid, so all of our envy and contempt spill out on the page. dilbert: maybe you tech writers should drink less coffee and exercise more. tina: this is exactly why we hate everyone.
Saturday November 07,
2020
Coffee Productivity
Tags technology, business, projects, productive, medical, coffee, lie, medical-grade coffee
Transcript
wally in meeting with boss and dilbert: i've been highly productive since switching to medical-grade coffee. i finished all of my projects and did an excellent job on every one. boss: wow! dilbert and wally in hall after: so that stuff actually makes you more productive? wally: no, but it does make me lie better.
Monday November 02,
2020
Boss Ear Piece
Tags answers, blockchain, business, ear piece, evil, ignorance, managers & supervisors, smart, technology
Transcript
boss: later i have a meeting about blockchain and i don't understand anything about it. i'll be wearing this earpiece, and i want you to feed me smart lines. dilbert at home talking to dogbert: do you want to do something evil? dogbert: say no more. give me that.
Saturday October 24,
2020
Lover Not A Fighter
Tags business, technology, software, price, lover, fighter, report, human resources, bully, sexual discrimination
Transcript
dilbert: i'd fight with you on the price of this software, but i'm more of a lover than a fighter. female software vendor: are you hitting on me? you'd better buy my software now, or i'll report you to your own human resources. dilbert: okay. okay. i'll do anything you want. female software vendor: wow. you were right when you said you're not a fighter.
Friday October 23,
2020
Nothing Is Totally Safe
Tags business, health & safety, managers & supervisors, sarcasm, technology, test, reality, blame, face mask
Transcript
boss: have you tested everything to make sure it is 100% safe? dilbert: nothing is 100% safe. we don't live in that kind of reality. but i'll bet you want me to say it anyway. boss: it's more about the blame later.
Wednesday September 30,
2020
Jumping Out A Window
Tags managers & supervisors, boss, listen, repeat, jump, window, bluff, reiterate, parachute
Transcript
dilbert: if i have to listen to you repeat that same point one more time, i'm going to jump out a window. boss: that sounds like a bluff. dilbert: i packed a parachute. boss: ...anyway, to reiterate... parachuter floating beside building.
Wednesday September 16,
2020
Trick Question
Tags managers & supervisors, business, interview, question, trick, blm, black lives matter, dismissed, employment
Transcript
catbert: we added the following trick question to our interview process... do black lives matter? interviewee: yes, of course. catbert: say more about that. interviewee: i think all... catbert yelling and pointing: dismissed!