Need A Budget Comic Strips - Page 3

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View 21 - 30 results for need a budget comic strips. Discover the best "Need A Budget" comics from Dilbert.com.

Need To Retrain

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Need To Retrain - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 10, 2019's comic on:


Tags #technology, #business, #office, #retrain, #proposal, #employees, #risk, #cost, #work

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boss: your idea is dumb because we'd have to retrain people dilbert: are you waiting for a plan with no costs, no work, and no risk? boss: yes, why are you holding that one back?

Test Device Analogy

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Test Device Analogy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Tags #office workers, #technology, #power drill, #test, #device, #analogy, #office

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dilbert: i designed the test device to be held like one would hold a power drill ted: that's stupid. that product can't drill a hole in anything ceo: good point dilbert: that's... not... how analogies work. ted: and what if i don't need to drill anything? ceo: yeah!

Parody Or Real

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Parody Or Real - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 03, 2019's comic on:


Tags #joke, #sarcasm, #technology, #boss, #business, #department, #proposal, #reality, #parody, #inversion

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dilbert: ever since the parody inversion, no one can tell the difference between jokes and reality boss: i need you to get buy-in on this proposal from all thirteen department heads by tomorrow wally: was that real or parody? dilbert: i think they're the same now

Food Poisoning

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Food Poisoning  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Tags #office workers, #office, #health, #Food, #poison, #work, #potluck

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boss: everyone who went to the potluck got food poisoning. i need you to do all their work while they are out sick. dilbert: were there leftovers? boss: there might be dilbert: can i have a plate?

Curse Of Competence

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Curse Of Competence - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 25, 2019's comic on:


Tags #computer software, #employees, #office workers, #problem, #sarcasm, #condescending

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Man: I need your help solving a software problem on my computer. Dilbert: Why am I cursed with the sort of competence that makes me a servant to the incapable? Man: I don't know what that means. Dilbert: If you did, you could probably fix your own problems.

Read The Manual

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Read The Manual - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 18, 2019's comic on:


Tags #computer software, #employees, #frustrated, #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #technology

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Dilbert: We need to fix our user interface because half of our users can't figure it out. Boss: Tell them to read the manual. Dilbert: That's not how you fix a bad user interface. Boss: Then why do manuals exist? Dilbert: If you need me, I'll be banging my head against a wall.

Bad Attitude

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Bad Attitude - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 17, 2019's comic on:


Tags #big business, #complaining, #employees, #obliviousness, #attitude

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Catbert: I need to talk to you about your bad attitude. Dilbert: I'm surrounded by useless idiots, and I work in a fabric-covered box. How can I have a good attitude? Catbert: Oh, good. I was hoping it would be something I couldn't fix.

More Communication

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More Communication - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 11, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boss, #communication, #confused, #distraction, #irony, #managers & supervisors

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Boss: What we need in this office is more communication and fewer distractions. Dilbert: Your goals are mutually exclusive. If you communicate more, you'll be distracting us more. Boss: Now I've lost my train of thought. Dilbert: Did my communication distract you?

Scourge Of Teamwork

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Scourge Of Teamwork - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 09, 2019's comic on:


Tags #help, #insults, #office workers, #work, #teams

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Man: Do you need any help on your project? Dilbert: No, I try to avoid the scourge of teamwork when-ever possible. Man: Isn't there any way I can be of service? Dilbert: Maybe you could offer to help someone I hate.

Centralizing The Decentralized

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Centralizing The Decentralized - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 07, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boss, #business, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #sarcasm, #value

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Boss: I need to randomly change something so it seems as if being a manager is a real job. Maybe I should centralize all the functions I decentralized last year. Catbert: Or you could find a way to add value. Boss: I'm not magic.