Need To Know Comic Strips - Page 3
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1000 Results for Need To Know
View 21 - 30 results for need to know comic strips. Discover the best "Need To Know" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday August 25,
2020
Ted Takes Selfie With Bear
Tags #office workers, #selfie, #picture, #wild, #bear, #success, #techology, #business, #face mask
Transcript
wally: did you hear ted took a selfie with a wild bear? dilbert: wow. where can i see that picture? wally: you'd need to ask the bear. it didn't go well.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Sunday August 23,
2020
Ratio Is Too High
Tags #managers & supervisors, #expense, #budget, #capital, #ratio, #too high, #afford, #standards, #historical, #irrelevant, #manage, #department
Transcript
boss: we need to reduce our expense budget to 40% of our capital budget. dilbert: why do we need to do that? boss: because the ratio is too high. dilbert: are you saying we can't afford it? boss: no. i'm saying the ratio is too high. dilbert: okay, but by what standard is it "too high"? boss: by historical standards, it has never been this high. dilbert: i don't think we want to start using an irrelevant ratio to manage the department. boss: to be fair, this is just the first time you noticed.
Thursday August 20,
2020
Study 5 G First
Tags #managers & supervisors, #technology, #business, #5g, #dangerous, #study, #research, #reporter
Transcript
boss: dilbert, i need you to respond to this reporter who thinks our 5g technology is dangerous. dilbert: is it dangerous? boss: how would i know? dilbert: maybe i should study it first. boss: never mind. i'll ask someone else.
Monday August 17,
2020
It Is A Burden To Know You
Tags #business, #office workers, #technology, #video, #assignment, #homework, #helpful, #enemies
Transcript
co-worker: did you watch the video i sent? dilbert: it's a burden to know you because you keep assigning me homework. co-worker: i'm trying to be helpful. dilbert: can you help my enemies instead?
Sunday August 16,
2020
Humans Making Decisions
Tags #biases, #business, #data, #decision, #guessing, #human nature, #making, #primitive, #psychology, #reason, #sarcasm, #superstitions, #technology, #science
Transcript
dilbert: when humans were primitive and dumb, they used their superstitions and biases to make decisions. eventually, science won out, and we evolved to use data and reason to make decisions. dogbert: how'd that work out? dilbert: not so good. it turns out that all of our data are unreliable and conflicting. and we don't have the mental capacity to use reason. dogbert: it's still better than guessing. dilbert: how do you know that? dogbert: you are hard to talk to.
Saturday August 15,
2020
Ted Needed To Know
Tags #office workers, #technology, #business, #email, #forward, #malice, #slander, #private, #know, #face maks
Transcript
alice: i forwarded your email to ted. Dilbert shaken: WHAT!!! i said bad things about ted! that was a private email to you! alice: he needed to know. dilbert yelling: he did not need to know!
Tuesday August 11,
2020
Wally Must Say Something
Tags #managers & supervisors, #technology, #meeting, #attention, #confused, #face mask, #follow-up, #questions, #project, #employee, #engagement, #business
Transcript
wally thinking: i need to say something to show i'm paying attention. wally: i'm concerned that the project could reduce employee engagement. boss: what does that even mean? wally thinking: i wasn't expecting follow-up questions.
Monday August 10,
2020
Meeting Ending Invention
Tags #managers & supervisors, #invent, #app, #application, #ring, #phone, #meeting, #strategic, #direction, #face mask
Transcript
dilbert: i invented an app that makes your phone ring to get you out of meetings. boss: how does that fit our strategic direction? dilbert's phone: bing, bing, bing! dilbert walking away: i need to take this call.
Wednesday August 05,
2020
Asok Analysis
Tags #business ethics, #decision, #managers & supervisors, #numbers, #analysis, #experience, #liars, #department
Transcript
boss: put some numbers on this decision so it looks a if we thought about it longer. asok: are you seriously telling me to do the analysis after the decision? boss: if you need help, talk to one of the experienced liars in the department.
Thursday July 30,
2020
We Have No Strategy
Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #strategy, #meeting, #complain, #cheap, #jealous, #wisdom
Transcript
boss wearing face mask: i hired a guy to complain at every meeting by saying, "we have no strategy."mi got him cheap because that's all he does. dilbert wearing face mask: some would say we don't need him. boss: maybe they're jealous of his wisdom. office worker thinking: no strategy