Network Comic Strips - Page 3
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111 Results for Network
View 21 - 30 results for network comic strips. Discover the best "Network" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday May 28,
2016
Network Is Slow
Thursday March 17,
2016
Dogbert's Class Learns Nothing
Tags distraction, strategy, guest artist, josh shipley
Transcript
Boss: The employees who took your class on negotiating are complaining that they learned nothing. Dogbert: I heart those same employees scheming to vandalize your network. Boss: Now that's all I can think about! How did you do that? Dogbert: Gotta go.
Sunday December 20,
2015
Tags jargon, techspeak, nonsense, bluff, deception, conversation, language
Transcript
Boss: Wally, did you Uberize the slide deck? Wally: I harmonized it in the cloud. Boss: Are we ready for a trans-domain kick-off? Wally: I put a disruptive mesh network in the microservices of the Internet of things. Boss: Will that be good enough to "ask the fridge" or do I need to start disintermediating? Wally: It depends on if we have enough bandwidth to growth-hack the analytics. Boss: I just hope our clicks-and-mortar strategy staircases. Dilbert: I'm almost certain that was nonsense. Wally: Sometimes it's about the journey.
Wednesday September 23,
2015
Alice Networks With Ted
Tags lunch, gender, Women, business, success, double standard, attraction, networking, mixed signals, flirt, misinterpretation
Transcript
Alice: Hey, Ted! Are you free for lunch today? Ted: I'm happily married! Leave me alone! Alice: Relax. I only want to network with you. Ted: Is it because I'm ugly?
Tuesday September 22,
2015
Alice Should Network With Men
Tags catch-22, sexism, Women, sexist, attraction, success, glass ceiling
Transcript
CEO: Alice, the best way to break the glass ceiling is to do more networking with male co-workers. Alice: Can we talk about this over lunch? CEO: Wow. You are so into me.
Sunday May 17,
2015
Tags flirting, romance, privacy, stalking, creepy, creeper, gestures, gifts, coworkers
Transcript
The New Employee. Dilbert: Hi, I'm Dilbert. I bought you a book. Woman: Okay, weird. Who buys gifts for new co-workers? And how did you know this is my favorite author? Dilbert: I asked one of the network guys to check your browser history. Catbert assured me that employees have no right to privacy. I heard that women like it when men put thought into a gift. I hope you appreciate my romantic gesture. Wally: Did she make a romantic gesture back? Dilbert: I choose to interpret it that way.
Wednesday April 08,
2015
Mansplaining The Network
Tags mansplainer, mansplaining, relations between the sexes, sexism, frustration
Transcript
Mansplaining. Man: Let me explain how our network is designed. Alice: I personally designed our network and I know far more about it than you ever will. Man: Do you know what a cloud is? Alice: It's where you'll be playing your harp in a minute.
Wednesday February 18,
2015
Dilbert Sent To Disable Elbonian Internet
Tags annoyance, binary, code, coding, developing countries, frustration, internet, technology
Transcript
Dilbert: I have been sent to disable the Elbonian Internet as retaliation for hacking into our corporate network. Elbonian 1: Only our elites use the Internet. The rest of us don't care. Knock yourself out. Elbonian 2: Zero, zero, one, zero, one... Elbonian 3: I wish someone would just disable this thing.
Tuesday February 17,
2015
Elbonians Hacked Their Network
Tags developing countries, hacker, hackers, hacking, internet, retaliation, technology
Transcript
CEO: We think Elbonians hacked into our network. Dilbert: That's unlikely. CEO: We must respond proportionately by hacking their entire Internet. Dilbert: It's not much of an Internet. CEO: What do you need to cripple it. Dilbert: A plane ticket and scissors.
Thursday August 28,
2014
Tags engineers, thinking, mental energy, executive attention, brain network, dangerous territory, surpasses last remnets, sociala awreness, misread social cues
Transcript
Wally: He transferred all of his mental energy to the executive attention network of his brain to solve a problem. This is dangerous territory for an engineer because it suppresses the last remnants of his social awareness. Expect him to misread social cues. Dilbert: They're here to kill me.

