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View 21 - 30 results for new product comic strips. Discover the best "New Product" comics from Dilbert.com.

Title Promotion

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Title Promotion - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, recognition, outstanding, work, pandemic, title, Promotion, stupid, raise, ungrateful, engineer

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boss: dilbert, in recognition of your outstanding work during the pandemic, i'm giving you a promotion. dilbert: i don't want a stupid title. i want a raise. what's my new title? boss's voice through phone: "ungrateful engineer."

Dlbert Prefers The Pandemic

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Dlbert Prefers The Pandemic  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags health & safety, pandemic, end, meet, new, people, focus, friends, prefer

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dilbert and dogbert on a walk. dilbert: i don't want the pandemic to end because i kind of prefer not meeting new people. dogbert: don't focus on the end of the pandemic. maybe it's really about the friends you didn't make along the way.

Traumatic Story

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Traumatic Story - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags mental health, sales, sales personnel, business, technology, salesman, traumatic, experience, child, story, relate, manipulate, emotions, short-circuit, critical, thinking

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salesman in meeting: before i tell you about our newest product, i'd like to tell you a story about a traumatic experience i had as a child. wally: is your story related to the topic, or is it just an excuse to yammer about something that happened to you? salesman: i'm trying to manipulaye your emotions to short-circuit your critical thinking. wally: okay. carry on.

Virus From Where

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Virus From Where - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, health & safety, office workers, virus, beard, fuzzy, hat, country, release, luxembourg, elbonian

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dilbert: there's a new virus that kills everyone who doesn't have a beard and a tall, fuzzy hat. wally: what country would release a virus like that? elbonian man: i'm hearing bad things about luxembourg.

Every Expert Says

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Every Expert Says - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, idea, technology, work, old, new, future, expert, entrepreneurs, worldview

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boss: every expert in the world says your idea can't work. dilbert: experts only know about old ideas. if they knew about future ones, they would be entrepreneurs, not experts. boss: well, my entire worldview just collapsed. dilbert: sorry

The Moron Option

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The Moron Option - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, corporate rule, vendor, accounts receivable, 30 days, pay, payment, exception, moron

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dilbert: our corporate rule is that we won't do business with any vendor who does not give us at least 30 days to pay. dilbert: but we can get the same product for half the price if we go with the vendor who wants payment immediately. should we make an obvious exception here or be morons? boss: i think you're under-valuing the moron options.

Wally Makes A Suggestion

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Wally Makes A Suggestion - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, sarcasm, technology, product idea, idea, debunk

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wally: did you see my brilliant product idea i emailed to you? boss: yes, i already debunked it in my mind. wally: perhaps you could share your reasons. boss: if it's such a great idea. why isn't someone else doing it? and if someone is already doing it, we are far too late. in order for your idea to be good, i would have to think you are smarter than everyone in the industry. and seriously, just look at you. anyone else have an idea? others: nope. nope, never. nope.

Reimagine Ted's Job

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Reimagine Ted's Job - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boring, business, job, new, pay, projects, reimagine, technology, compensation

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boss: ted, we need to reimagine your job. ted: i hope that means you will replace the boring parts of my job with exciting new projects. boss: it doesn't mean that. boss: does it mean doing the same work for higher pay?

5 G Is 4 G

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5 G Is 4 G - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, technology, wireless, service, 5g, 4g, complain, impossible, phone

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boss: we are rolling out our new 5G wireless service today. dilbert: we don't have any 5G technology. boss: it's really 4G, but no one wants that, so we call it 5G. dilbert: people will complain. boss: that's okay. we're also making it impossible to reach us by phone.

Buying Tee Shirts

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Buying Tee Shirts - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags clothing, purchase, retail, size, small, t-shirt, home, shopping

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dilbert and dogbert at home. dilbert: do you like my new t-shirt? it's two sizes too small, but that's all they had. dogbert: wouldn't it be better to buy shirts that you like that are also the right size? dilbert: in theory, yes. but i have been buying t-shirts for years, and i don't recall seeing that option.