No Sense Shame Comic Strips - Page 3

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

172 Results for No Sense Shame

View 21 - 30 results for no sense shame comic strips. Discover the best "No Sense Shame" comics from Dilbert.com.

Standup Meeting

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Standup Meeting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #software, #engineer, #coding, #jargon, #language, #technology, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Are you coming to the standup meeting? Wally: Is it okay if I sit instead? Dilbert: No, that would ruin the software. Dilbert: Did that make sense when I said it? Wally: No, and it isn't aging well either.

Robot Lawyer Has Comments

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Robot Lawyer Has Comments - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #argument, #robot, #talk

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Do you have any comments on the contract I emailed to you? Robot: Adjudicate the continuance of due diligence until an injunction repudiates the covenants. Dilbert: I was hoping for comments that make sense. Robot: You're thinking of a more expensive robot.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #conversation, #analogy, #false equivalence, #frustration

View Transcript

Transcript

Narrator: The bad analogy guy. Dilbert: And that's why I want to rewrite that part of the software. Man: That's like closing the barn door after the horse gets out. Dilbert: No, it isn't anything like that. I just think the current software could bet better. Man: So it's like throwing away the baby with the bathwater. Dilbert: No, it is not like that even a little! Man: You sound exactly like Hitler. That can't be a coincidence. Dilbert: Nothing you say makes sense! Man: That's like saying the earth is flat.

Internet Wants Ceo To Die

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Internet Wants Ceo To Die - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anger, #shame, #unpopular, #popularity, #public relations, #gawker

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: The company we acquired is making us look bad. Dilbert: How bad? CEO: The internet is demanding that I drink poison and apologize to the world while I die. What should I do? Dilbert: Well, I'm no doctor, but I'd go with something fast-acting.

Fire The Bottom Ten Percent

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Fire The Bottom Ten Percent - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #rank, #hierarchy, #value, #fired, #termination, #layoff, #logic, #executives

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I want you to fire the employees you ranked in the bottom ten percent. Boss: Wouldn't that just put someone else in the bottom ten percent? CEO: Everything made sense until you started talking. Boss: Sorry.

Hire Agile Programmers

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Hire Agile Programmers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #pun, #deception, #earthquake, #agility

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: You should move the agile programmers to building six because it has poor earthquake protection. they can jump out of the way if stuff starts falling. Boss; I guess that makes sense. Wally: Can I have one of their cubicles near a window?

Wally's Email Makes No Sense

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally's Email Makes No Sense - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bot, #deception, #laziness, #work ethic, #obliviousness

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Wally's emails make no sense. Dilbert: He replaced himself with a chatbot. He designed the chatbot to be useless so you'd think it was him. Boss: And he thought this would fool me? Dilbert: He's been gone for four months.

Boss Can't Decide Who To Vote For

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Can't Decide Who To Vote For - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #election, #voting, #choice, #choosing, #decision, #indecision, #judgement

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I can't decide who to vote for in this election. Alice: Make your voting decision the same way you make your work decisions. Boss: Common sense and gut instinct? Alice: We just call it "wrong."

Boss Is Victim Of Identity Thief

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Is Victim Of Identity Thief - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #identity theft, #impostor, #insult, #investment, #money, #stealing, #guest artist, #josh shipley

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: An identity thief stole my identity and opened a brokerage account. Dilbert: How did they know he was an impostor? Did he make a smart investment? Boss: That isn't funny. Wally: Did the impostor have a sense of humor?

False Sense Of Urgency

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
False Sense Of Urgency - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #guest artist, #managers, #motivation, #personality disorder, #sociopath, #strategy, #john glynn

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I don't think I'm doing enough to create a false sense of urgency. Catbert: Are you still a sociopath? Boss: That's the easy part. Catbert: Now add a meaningless deadline and some fear.