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Webmistress Ming: Wally and Ming are talking in a hallway, Ming is holding a folder. Wally says to Ming: "You have a broken link." Ming answers: "I know, I know." Asok is standing in the door of Ming's cubicle and Ming is sitting at her computer. Asok says to Ming: "You have a broken link." Ming answers:"I know, I know." Ming is lying down on a reclining chair at a therapist office, the therapist is sitting behind her and taking notes. Ming says to the therapist: "The men are getting perverse pleasure from reporting my broken links." The therapist answers: "Your graphics are slow, too"
Webmistress Ming: The boss is sitting in front of his computer and Ming is standing taking notes. The boss says, "Our web site needs some dancing skeletons." The boss says, "Normally I'd suggest dinosaur pictures but they're too big for our disk drives." Ming takes notes. The boss says, "Are you getting this down, Ming?" Mign answers, "How do you spell "#%*@!"?" and walks away.
Dilbert, the boss and Asok are sitting at a table with notes in front them and the boss says, "I'll reduce turnover by showing I care about you." The boss looks at Asok and says, "Tell me about your kids, Asok." He replies, "I don't have any." The boss says, "Let's say you do for the sake of this excercise."
Dilbert and Wally are sitting at a table with notes and coffee in front of them and sitting opposite them is the boss. Wally says, "...And since our bonuses depend on things we can't control..." Wally continues, "...Can mine be based on the performance of some other company?" Dilbert and Wally are walking off and Wally says to Dilbert, "You ask one question and sussenly you're not a team player."
Alice and Tina sit at a table as Tina takes notes. Alice says, "It takes years of training to be an engineer." Alice says, "But you don't need any training whatsoever to be an engineer's boss." Alice says, "It's unskilled labor without the labor." Tina says, "I could do that."
Dilbert, The Boss and Wally sit in a meeting. The Boss reads from his notes. The Boss says, "All new computers will be osbornes." The Boss says, "They come with something called a floppy drive." Dilbert says to Wally, "Somethimg tells me we're not operating on 'Internet Time.'"
Elbonian Factory Tour: Alice and an Elbonian stand in the mud in front of a hut. The Elbonian says, "This is the sweat shop where we make your company's product." Alice takes notes. The Elbonians work with large clamps on their heads. The foreman says, "We attache huge clamps to each employee's head." Alice says, "Why?" The foreman says, "We tried cubicles, but it damaged morale."
Dogbert is telling The Boss, "From now on, refer to your employees as 'knowledge assets.'" The Boss takes notes. Dogbert the Consultant is sitting on a couch and says, "That will send an unmistakable message." Dilbert comes home from work and says to Dogbert, "He calls us knowledge assets" now. He must think we're complete morons." Dogbert wags his tail and says, "It's an unmistakable message."
Dogbert, Deputy of Common Sense, stands a filing cabnet and says, "Are you the government safety inspector?" The inspector says, "Yup. I love my job." Dogbert watches as the inspector trips Wally and notes something on his clipboard. Wally's glasses fall off and he says, "HEY!" Dogbert puts his hand on his gun and says, "How does your boss determine your pay?" The inspector writes something down and says, "It's based on the decrease in accidents after my inspection."
Dogbert says, "Should the Dinosaurs be downsized? You decide their fate." Bob, Dawn and Rex stand to one side looking worried. Vote by email: firstname.lastname@example.org A: I love the dinosaurs! B: Stick to office jokes! C: No talking animals! D: I don't have an opinion, but I like to vote! E: Get rid of everyone so I can use the blank space for notes. Ratbert says, 'There's a Jimmy Carter here to monitor the voting." Dogbert says, "Uh-oh."