One Type Computer Comic Strips - Page 3

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for One Type Computer

View 21 - 30 results for one type computer comic strips. Discover the best "One Type Computer" comics from Dilbert.com.

Leaders Have Differen Memories

Thank you for voting.
Leaders Have Differen Memories - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 05, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #meeting, #office, #stupid, #leadership

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: we had a leadership meeting to decide how to move forward. the boss: but all the leaders left the meeting with wildly different ideas about what we agreed on. carol: how do you leaders plan to solve that? the boss: phase one involves accusing each other of being stupid.

Leadership And Guessing

Thank you for voting.
Leadership And Guessing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 11, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #coffee, #managers & supervisors, #office

View Transcript

Transcript

alice to the boss: one option is to use the old method that has never once worked, but we think we know how to make it work next time. alice: the other option is to try something new that we can't be sure will work. alice: it's almost as if leadership is nothing but guessing. the boss drinking coffee: let's change the subject.

Website Suggestions

Thank you for voting.
Website Suggestions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 07, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #office, #website, #webpage

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: our website doesn't look anything like the one you asked me to approve. the boss: were you showing me a fake webpage so you could ignore my suggestions? dilbert: all of this could have been avoided if you had told me you planned to look at it.

Dogbert's Service Human

Thank you for voting.
Dogbert's Service Human - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 04, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #magazines, #office, #office workers, #service, #ipad

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert to dilbert: this is my service human. office worker on leash. dogbert: whenever i feel angry, i slap him with a rolled-up magazine to help me relax. service human: no one reads magazines anymore. dogbert: can i borrow your iPad?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 02, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #strategy, #variables, #forecast

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: my profit forecast isn't aligning with our strategy the boss: try adding some variables. dilbert: what kind of variables? the boss: the kind that make our strategy line up with our profit forecasts. dilbert: but...then my forecast would not be accurate. the boss: it's already inaccurate because no one can forecast complicated things five years ahead. the boss: if we can't be accurate, we might as well be wrong in a way that is good for us in the near term. dilbert: you make a surprisingly robust argument for evil. the boss: and i was barely trying!

Winners Never Quit

Thank you for voting.
Winners Never Quit - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 01, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #sarcasm, #inspirational quotes

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: i'm not having much luck with my inspirational quotes, but i thought i would try one more time. the boss: "winners never quit, and quitters never win." dilbert: when ted quit, you gave him a raise to stay. the boss: these work better when you don't think about them.

If You Can Dream

Thank you for voting.
If You Can Dream - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 30, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boss, #business, #Dilbert, #sleeping, #inspirational quotes, #Wally

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: i'll be sharing one inspirational quote each day. next frame shows outside of office: "if you can dream it, you can achieve it." Wally: zzz-zzzz. dilbert: he's off to a good start.

Never Stop Dreaming

Thank you for voting.
Never Stop Dreaming - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 29, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #sleeping, #inspirational quotes, #Dilbert, #boss

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: i printed out some inspirational slogans to motivate you. the boss: the first one is "never stop dreaming." wally: zzzz-zzzz.

Wally And His Priorities

Thank you for voting.
Wally And His Priorities - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 28, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #meetings, #office, #office workers, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: wally, can you attend a meeting at 10 am tomorrow? wally: sure. here's a list of my projects so you can tell me which one you want to fail while i'm wasting my time at your meeting. the boss: was there a chance one of them would succeed? wally: well played

Counting Morons

Thank you for voting.
Counting Morons - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 24, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #sarcasm, #moron

View Transcript

Transcript

office worker, dilbert and the boss at conference table. office worker: dilbert and i disagree on how to fix the bug. dilbert: for context, one of us is a moron, and one of us is always right. the boss: i'm confused because there are three of us here. dilbert: i forgot one moron.