Personal Dress Code Comic Strips - Page 3

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340 Results for Personal Dress Code

View 21 - 30 results for personal dress code comic strips. Discover the best "Personal Dress Code" comics from Dilbert.com.

Bossercize

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Bossercize - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #exercise, #personal trainer, #fitness, #bossercise, #criticism, #managers, #health

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Narrator: Dogbert The Personal Trainer. Dogbert: I invented a fitness routine I call Bossercise. It mostly involves strutting around the office and criticizing people. Boss: You incompetent fool! Dogbert: Give me twenty more reps.

Changing Company Name

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Changing Company Name - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hacker, #hacking, #privacy, #facebook, #retaliation, #data, #breach

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Boss: Our customers are complaining because we let hackers get their personal data. So we've decided to change the name of the company and wear disguises until it all blows over. Take a mustache from the bag and pass it around.

Dating A Skeleton

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Dating A Skeleton - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sex, #dating, #relationships, #questioning, #desperation

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Dilbert: Do you mind if I ask you a personal question? Skeleton: Go ahead. But if you ask me if I'm dead, there is no chance I'll be rattling bones with you later. What's your question? Dilbert: It can wait until tomorrow.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #add code, #corporate scamming, #darkest day, #designed new prodcut, #draft apology, #engineering success, #make unrelaible, #no upgarde, #press release, #ten years

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Dilbert: Ive designed our new product to work flawlessly for up to ten years. CEO: No one will need an upgrade. Thats no good. Add some code to low it down and make it unreliable after two years. CEO: But make sure the device doesn't slow down until we have an upgrade to sell. Then draft an apology I can put un a press realize when we get caught. Dilbert: You have turned my engineering success into the darkest day of my career. CEO: Thats not even close to being true. Your darkest day will be when the press figures out what we did and I fore you for it.

Backdoor Into Self Driving Car Code

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Backdoor Into Self Driving Car Code  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #government, #back door, #self driving, #software, #kill terrorits, #traitor, #engineering

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Dilbert: Im uncomfortable with letting the government have a back door into our sled driving car software. The Boss: You worry too much, They'll only use it to kill terrorists and traitors. Dilbert: I think I might disable it and not tell them. The Boss: Traitor

Kill Code In Car

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Kill Code In Car  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #self-driving cars, #technology, #invention, #murder, #control, #government

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Dilbert: The government forced me to put a "kill code" in the operating system for our self-driving cars. Dogbert: And by "kill code," you mean it will bring the vehicle to a controlled stop? Dilbert: No, you're thinking of a "stop code."

Insulting Within Company Guidelines

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 Insulting Within Company Guidelines - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #teach, #insult, #compliment, #function, #guidelines, #co workers, #insult co workers

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DOgbert: I will teach you how to insult your co - workers while staying within company guidelines. The trick is to disguise your insults as compliments. Alice, I admire the way you dress for function over appearance. Alice: Thanks. wait...

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #customer service, #loyalty program, #survey, #frustration

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Man: Would you like to sign up for our customer loyalty program? Dilbert: Why would I do that? Man: If you don't we'll overcharge you on your purchases. But if you sign up, we will add a new level of complexity to your life that will make you hate us. Dilbert: I'll stick with the customer disloyalty program. Just overcharge me and I'll never come back. Man: You can get ten percent off your purchase today if you fill out an online customer survey and enter our store code. Dilbert: Please just overcharge me and let me leave! Man: I almost hesitate to ask which extended warranty option you want.

Bad At Your Job

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Bad At Your Job - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers, #instructions, #directions, #insubordinate

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Ted: Your code doesn't conform to my architectural guidelines. Dilbert: That's because you're bad at your job and I'm good at mine. Ted: I don't know how to respond to that. Dilbert: Maybe you could ask someone who knows how to do your job.

Internal Rules Versus Good Code

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Internal Rules Versus Good Code - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #technology, #coding, #engineers, #logic, #corporate, #bureaucracy

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Dilbert: I finished coding the software, but I used a much better database than our company standard. ed: In other words, your software is terrific, but we won't be able to use it because or our internal rules. Dilbert: The alternative was to write sub-optimal code. I'd rather be dead. Ted: I curse my lack of authority!