Planning Number Comic Strips - Page 3

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224 Results for Planning Number

View 21 - 30 results for planning number comic strips. Discover the best "Planning Number" comics from Dilbert.com.

Planning To Lose

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Planning To Lose - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 27, 2014's comic on:


Tags #failure, #insulting, #planning, #business plan, #plan for failure, #losers, #angry, #same page

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Dilbert: If our business plan fails, do we have a plan for that? Boss: Only losers plan for failure. Dilbert: I think we're on the same page, but for some reason you're angry about it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 10, 2014's comic on:


Tags #boss, #insult, #insults, #lists, #managers, #obliviousness, #five signs, #bad boss, #forwarded link, #70 people

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Dilbert: Did you see the article on the Internet about the five signs you might be a bad boss? Boss: Yeah. About seventy people forwarded it to me. Dilbert: That was number three on the list. Boss: I didn't read it. Dilbert: That was number one.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 19, 2014's comic on:


Tags #electronic mail, #internet & world wide web, #scams, #enter bank acct, #employee, #boss

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WHY phishing scams keep working enter your bank account number. Dilbert: Scam. WAIT FOR IT enter your bank account number Alice: Scam. There it is Boss: Okey-dokey.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 05, 2013's comic on:


Tags #internet & world wide web, #managers & supervisors, #work ethic, #facebook, #work, #home, #unpaid work, #business

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Boss: You're not allowed to use Facebook at work. Alice: Fine. I'll use it at home tonight instead of doing the three hours of unpaid work I was planning to do. Boss: I"m calling that a win.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 23, 2013's comic on:


Tags #engineers, #vacations, #work ethic, #unlimited vacation policy, #200 days off, #double productivity, #no way to measure

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Wally: I'm planning to take advantage of our new unlimited vacation policy. I'll be gone for two hundred days in the coming year. And I guarantee I will still double my productivity compared to the prior year. Boss: There's no way to measure productivity for engineers. Wally: Good to know.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 24, 2013's comic on:


Tags #executives, #prices, #executive coaching, #meetings

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Dogbert The Executive Coach Dogbert: The ROI for executive coaching is 9,000%. CEO: Wow! That's a lot! But I need a coach who won't ask em to do anything differently. Dogbert: I wasn't planning to show up for our meetings. CEO: Perfect. How much do I owe you for today?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 15, 2013's comic on:


Tags #deception, #business card, #no @ sign, #email, #missing number, #phone number

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Wally : Mere's my card. Let me know if I can be of further assistance. Coworker: Your phone number is missing a digit and your email address doesn't have an @ symbol. Wally: I didn't say it would be easy.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 05, 2013's comic on:


Tags #anger, #apathy, #northern data, #cloud, #cloud guy, #data center

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Wally: I migrated our northern data center to the cloud. But the cloud stopped working and I can't find the phone number for our clout guy. So... whatever. Boss: You lost our data center? Wally: That's one way to look at it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 16, 2012's comic on:


Tags #employees, #late, #chronically late, #pre meeting, #trick, #chronic lateness, #power, #selfish, #bad attitude, #business

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Dilbert: Let's meet before the project meeting to go over a few things. Coworker: Nice try. We chronically late people know when we're being played. Your pre-meeting is a trick to get me to show up on time for the real meeting. But that won't work because poor planning isn't the cause of my chronic lateness. I make people wait for me because I enjoy the power and I don't care about anyone's feelings. Dilbert: Fine. I'll see you at the project meeting at ten. Coworker: Nice try. I know the meeting is at 10:30. Dilbert: How do you keep a job? Coworker: That attitude is exactly why I don't like people.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 28, 2012's comic on:


Tags #fee, #how the future works, #portfolio, #retirement planning, #understanding future

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Dogbert's retirement planning service Dogbert: My fee is 10% of your portfolio per year. Employee: Sounds reasonable. Dogbert: None of my clients understand how the future works.