Pleasure To Meet Comic Strips - Page 3

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178 Results for Pleasure To Meet

View 21 - 30 results for pleasure to meet comic strips. Discover the best "Pleasure To Meet" comics from Dilbert.com.

Wally's Work Life Balance

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Wally's Work Life Balance - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags laziness, work ethic, excuse

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Wally: I can't do your urgent task because I'm on deadline for my boss. I can't meet your deadline because I have an urgent task from a co-worker. I finally figured out the whole "work-life balance" thing.

Dilbert Falls Asleep At The Wheel

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Dilbert Falls Asleep At The Wheel - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags safety, catch-22, fatigue, accident, driving

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Dilbert: I fell asleep at the wheel because I stayed up all night to meet your deadline. I had to work all night because you made me attend a mandatory safety meeting yesterday. But at least I got my work done on time. Boss: I forgot to tell you the meeting got moved to next week.

Meet At My Office

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Meet At My Office - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags meeting, schedule, time, wasting time, selfish, business

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Computer: Let's meet at my office on Friday. Dilbert: Sure. Or... you could waste your day traveling to my office instead. Computer: You're being a jerk. Dilbert: You started it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags work, job, happiness, fulfillment, meaning, pleasure, struggle, engagement, business, psychology

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Asok: I want a job I can enjoy. Dilbert: You want to work for free? Asok: No, I just want to get paid for doing things I want to do. Dilbert: Perhaps you misunderstand the true nature of "work." The reason your employer pays you is because work is unpleasant by its very nature. If the job were fun, the company would charge you a fee for letting you do it. Boss: Asok, I need you to climb into the dumpster and find out what's making it smell so bad. Asok: At least I'm doing something useful. Boss: No, it's more of a curiosity situation.

Men Who Meet 27 Criteria

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Men Who Meet 27 Criteria - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dating, attraction, relationships

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Woman: I'm looking for a man who meets my 27 criteria for a relationship. Dilbert: I'm looking for a woman who doesn't have 27 criteria for a relationship. How am I doing? Woman: Now I have 28 criteria.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags insult, offense, engineer, programmer, coding, anger, technology, engineering

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Man: How's the software coming? Alice: Still waiting for you to give me the specs so I can start. Man: I already told you it's a cloud app that does data. Hey, I can't do your job for you. You have to meet me halfway. Aren't you supposed to be "agile?" I mean, how hard is it to rearrange zeroes and ones all day? Should I ask again tomorrow? Alice: Sure, if you're alive.

Charging Client For Thinking

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Charging Client For Thinking - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags thinking, engineers, time, worth, meetings, billing, money, cost

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Boss: The client says you billed them for all the time you spent thinking about their project. Dilbert: I'm an engineer. Thinking is what I do. Should I think less? Boss: Maybe you could meet with someone while you think. Dilbert: How's that working right now?

Why All The Women Leave

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Why All The Women Leave - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Women, technology, quitting, repulsion, standards, gender, hiring, sabotage

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Boss: Why do all of the women I hire quit within the first week? Wally: I'm guessing they have high standards, or something along those lines. Boss: They seem to quit soon after they meet you. Wally: Hypothesis confirmed.

Wally And Gender Balance

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Wally And Gender Balance - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags career, Advice, gender, technology

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Boss: What did you say to my daughter's class about stem careers? Wally: I told the boys to pursue restaurant work because it's a better way to meet women. Boss: That's messed up. Wally: You said you want gender balance, and now you have it.

Dilbert Knows How To Negotiate

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Dilbert Knows How To Negotiate - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags deadlines, delivery, management, negotiating, negotiation, reorganization

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Negotiations Continue. Salesman: I can't meet your delivery deadline unless you agree to my price today. Dilbert: If you don't agree to my price today, management is likely to do a reorg soon and change its mind about this project. Salesman: How often does that happen? Dilbert: It hasn't happened since breakfast, so we're overdue.