Political Capital Comic Strips - Page 3

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

62 Results for Political Capital

View 21 - 30 results for political capital comic strips. Discover the best "Political Capital" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 14, 2012's comic on:


Tags #new product development, #stock buy back, #stock market, #dream, #using capitol, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I'm canceling all of our new product development and using the capital for a stock buy-back. Dilbert: This is a dream come true because I always wanted to be like you. CEO: In what way are you... Dilbert: Yay! I'm worthless!

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 19, 2011's comic on:


Tags #radiation, #capital for testing, #handset radiation, #tumor, #stan

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Which one of you asked for capital for testing handset radiation, Dilbert: That was Stan. and you told him to find a less expensive way to do it. The Boss: which one of you is Stan?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 25, 2011's comic on:


Tags #tax incentives, #capital investments, #pursue opportunities, #over burdened staff, #divert resocurces, #top priorities

View Transcript

Transcript

Demon says, "The government announced tax incentives for new capital investments." Dilbert says, "That's great. Now we can pursue marginally attractive opportunities with our overburdened staff." Demon says, "Is he always like this?" The Boss says, "Yes." Dilbert says, "I'll just divert resources from our top priorities."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 05, 2010's comic on:


Tags #walk, #outside, #project, #budget, #executive cancel, #wag tail, #evil, #cure, #incompetence, #back shot, #stand on stump

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "We realized our project can't work even if we execute it perfectly." Dilbert says, "Our boss' plan is to go over budget, attract attention, and hope an executive cancels our project for his own political reasons." Dogbert says, "Now do you agree that evil is the cure for incompetence?" Dilbert says, "Don't make me say it."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 18, 2009's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #employee, #graduate, #new, #avoiding, #useless, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Man says, "I just got my MBA, and I'm here to solve all of your problems." Dilbert says, "Our products are junk and we're completely out of capital." Man says, "Have you tried jargon?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 01, 2008's comic on:


Tags #favor, #investor, #overseas, #question, #overseas investor, #cartel, #fly to columbia, #bring back package

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: We were saved from the abyss by a last minute injection of capital from an overseas investor. They're some sort of cartel. We weren't in a position to ask a lot of questions. They want each of you to fly to Colombia and bring back a package... and you can't use your hands.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 07, 2008's comic on:


Tags #capital cost, #estimates, #clarify, #ruin the system

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally, do yuo have the capital cost estimates I asked for last week? Wally: No, I always ask you to clarify what you need. You say you'll get back to me but you never do. The Boss: Maybe I could clarify it now. Wally: That would ruin my system.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 02, 2008's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #boss, #raise, #political capital, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: If I try to give you the raise you deserve, the people above me will just reduce it. Alice: Maybe you could use some of your political capital to argue my case. The Boss: Maybe not.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 08, 2007's comic on:


Tags #bar code scanner, #lab tests, #capital budget, #varainace, #three bids, #form a team, #purchase order, #quitters

View Transcript

Transcript

"I need a $1,600 handheld bar code scanner to finish my lab tests." "Okay. Apply for a capital budget variance, prepare an RFP, get three bids, form a team to evaluate the bids, then prepare a purchase order." "Never mind. I'll just learn how to read bar codes by sight." "Quitter."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 28, 2005's comic on:


Tags #being ceo, #made smarter, #capital of japan, #mitubishi, #genius

View Transcript

Transcript

The best part about being CEO is that it made me smarter. Watch this. "The capital of Japan is Mitsubishi." "That's right! You're a genius!" "Yesterday I would have said nine."