Political Reasons Comic Strips - Page 3
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Boss: Wally, your political opinions are making your co-workers uncomfortable. Wally: That is exactly what people said about Gandhi. Boss: You are nothing like Gandhi. Wally: Was he a little bald guy who didn't have a real job?
Tina: I can't work with Wally. His political views are abhorrent. Boss: That has nothing to do with your job. Tina: He makes me too sad and angry to work! Boss: Would you be happy if I punished him for having an opinion? Tina: Would I be a bad person if I said I would?
Man: I'm a social justice warrior. That means I'm on our side. Do you want to go to dinner with me? Alice: No, thanks. I'm into men. Man: I am a man. Alice: Don't make me turn around and prove you wrong.
Boss: According to people on the Internet, you're what's called a "social justice warrior." Man: The tone of your voice indicates you are against me. And that means you are making common cause with racists. Boss: If I hire you, will you stop saying crazy stuff like that? Man: Censorship!
Tina: I saw your political opinion on Facebook and now I think you're an awful person. Wally: What did you think about me before? Tina: I didn't think about you before. Wally: Sounds like I got promoted.
Man: Did you watch any of the debates? Dilbert: Stop right there. I'm barely clinging to the illusion that you're competent at your job. Don't talk about politics or it will only get worse. Man: Did you know China caused climate change by hogging the sun? Dilbert: And there it is.
Dilbert: Have you ever noticed that there are smart people on both sides of every political issue? Boss: Maybe it only seems that way to you because you're not one of the smart ones. Dilbert: Do I seem smart? Wally: I didn't realize you were trying.
Alice: I figured out how to give you an artificial soul in your next upgrade. Robot: Wouldn't that give me a thousand reasons to feel like a failure while providing no off-setting benefits. Alice: I resented his happiness. Robot: I'm naked!
The Hairdresser Illuminati. Dogbert: Before we start, I'll need to see a list of your political views. Hoo-boy, this is some crazy stuff. I have just the right hairstyle for this. There. That should keep you out of The White House.
Dogbert: I became a member of the Hairdresser Illuminati. Dilbert: The what? Dogbert: It's a shadowy organization that controls the world by manipulating the hairstyles of political candidates. Boss: What is my barber doing here? Dogbert: That haircut will never become your next president.