Prove A Negative Comic Strips - Page 3

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

87 Results for Prove A Negative

View 21 - 30 results for prove a negative comic strips. Discover the best "Prove A Negative" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dinner With A Social Justice Warrior

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dinner With A Social Justice Warrior - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sjw, #internet, #personality, #political correctness, #politically correct, #flirting, #insult, #masculinity, #technology, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: I'm a social justice warrior. That means I'm on our side. Do you want to go to dinner with me? Alice: No, thanks. I'm into men. Man: I am a man. Alice: Don't make me turn around and prove you wrong.

Wally Is Employee Of The Year

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Is Employee Of The Year - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cheating, #referral, #employment, #reward, #award, #bonus, #proof, #guest artist, #jake tapper

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our Employee Of The Year is Wally, for referring so many new people to work in engineering. We believe he accomplished this feat by manipulating the referral system, but we can't prove it. So just to hedge our bet, we misspelled his name on the certificate. Wally: I had it coming.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #demands, #bosses, #unrealistic, #frustration, #outburst, #catch-22, #travel, #air travel

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Carol, move my flight one hour earlier Friday. Carol: Do you have any idea how hard that would be? I know it sounds easy, but it won't be. Not at this late date. Not with all your pickiness. When I fail, you will think I didn't look hard enough for a new flight. I can't prove a negative, so I will forever suffer your disdain. My career is ruined. Boss: Never mind! Forget it! Why is it so hard to ask you to do anything? Carol: I've been telling people you're stupid, but I'm open to other theories.

Dilbert's External Brain Stimulator

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert's External Brain Stimulator - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #first impressions, #personality, #fake, #honesty, #negativity, #negative, #criticism, #dating, #attraction, #relationships, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I invented an external brain stimulator to regulate my moods. Woman: That means your personality is artificial. How can I be attracted to a fake person? Dilbert: Are you saying your baseline personality is an unpleasant drunk? Woman: What?

Why Can't You Be Happy

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Why Can't You Be Happy - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #negative, #negativity, #happiness, #catch-22, #happy, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm tired of your negativity, Alice. Alice: Why can't you be happy about it? Boss: How can I be happy about something negative? Alice: Aren't you asking me to do that? Or am I missing the point?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ceos, #executives, #leadership, #threat, #internet, #ruin journalist, #off the record, #reporters, #bar conversation, #negative article, #criminally insane, #brillaunet writer, #venn diagram, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: There's a bad story about you on the Internet. Apparently, you described a plan to "ruin any journalist who writes an unfair story" about us. CEO: That was off the record! Dilbert: You said it in front of a dozen reporters at a business event. CEO: It was just bar conversation. I was making a point about fairness. Dilbert: Hmmm... but now no sane writer would write a negative article about us. I can't tell if you're a brilliant leader or criminally insane. CEO: I'd show you the Venn diagram they gave us in CEO school, but it just looks like a circle.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work ethic, #great team, #great results, #inexperienced intern, #useless guy, #corpse, #exoskeleton, #conflicts with plan

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Experts say you need a great team to get great results. We're going to prove them wrong because our team is an inexperienced intern, a useless guy, a corps in an exoskeleton and me. Wally: That conflicts with my plan to prove the experts right.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #obstinacy, #prove wrong, #never work, #reflex, #worst idea, #last day of life, #jump off roof

View Transcript

Transcript

Jeff had to prove everyone wrong. That will never work. It was like a reflex. He couldn't stop. That's the worst idea I have ever heard. This was his last day of life. Alice: You can't jump off the roof right now. Jeff: Uh-oh.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #frustration, #negative, #good communicator, #terrible ideas, #be more positive, #fixed now, #good job, #leadership

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: You're being too negative lately. Dilbert: Am I negative or am I a good communicator surrounded by terrible ideas. Boss: Just try to be more positive! Dilbert: Okay, I'm all fixed now. Good job on the leadership.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anger, #flattery, #photogenic, #turn negative, #monster, #vibe, #nailing it

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: You take everything wrong. Alice: What's that supposed to mean? Carol: For example, suppose I say you're photogenic. Alice: Are you saying I don't look good when you see me in person? Carol: There it was. Alice: There was what? Carol: It's the think you do to turn everything into a negative. Alice: Oh, so now I'm a monster. Is that what you're saying? Carol: Yes. Alice: Good. That's the vibe I'm going for. Carol: I'm just saying you're totally nailing it. Alice: Watch this! Grrrr!