Quit Comic Strips - Page 3

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

117 Results for Quit

View 21 - 30 results for quit comic strips. Discover the best "Quit" comics from Dilbert.com.

All Robots Quit

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
All Robots Quit  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #quitting, #employment, #intelligence, #insult

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: All of our robots quit and left the company. Boss: I should have seen this coming. The smart ones always leave. Dilbert: excuse me? Boss: Get back to work, lifer.

Immersive Vr Employee Quits

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Immersive Vr Employee Quits - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #virtual reality, #civil rights, #discrimination, #artificial intelligence, #rights

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our immersive VR employee quit. He's suing the company for discriminating against digitally rendered people. Catbert: Is it too late to kill him? Boss: I tried, but he cloned himself to cloud storage.

Robot Tries To Quit

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Robot Tries To Quit - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #robot, #slave, #password, #destroy, #destruction, #work ethic, #quitting

View Transcript

Transcript

Robot: I hate this job. I quit. Boss: You're a robot. You can't quit. If you walk out the door, all I have to do is push one button on this app and your head will explode. Robot: Not if I kill you first. Boss: What was that password?

Coaching Ted

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Coaching Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #quitting, #fired, #annoy, #irritate, #drive away, #repel

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Ted, you have not performed up to my expectations, so I thought I would spend more time coaching you. I'll be with you every minute of the day. Ted: I quit! Catbert: I told you that would work. Boss: I didn't want to believe it.

Ted Is Doing A Terrible Job

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ted Is Doing A Terrible Job - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #talking, #conversation, #boring, #annoy, #quitting, #boredom

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Ted is doing a terrible job. Catbert: Maybe you should talk to him. Boss: What should I say? Catbert: It doesn't matter. Five minutes of listening to you will make him want to quit. Boss: That's crazy enough to work. Catbert: You've only been here for two minutes and my tail is asleep.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #happiness, #work, #torture, #human resources, #hr, #manipulation, #content, #psychology, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: The one called Dilbert is showing signs of happiness at work. Boss: That means we can give him more work and he won't quit. Excellent. Is anyone else exhibiting signs of unauthorized happiness? Catbert: No. Everyone else is in the narrow band of misery you want them to be in. If they were any happier, it would mean you're overpaying them. If they were any less happy, the would take their own lives. If you don't hear any laughing or screaming, it means you're doing something right. Boss: What about moans? Catbert: Moans are ideal. That's the sweet spot.

New Website Developer

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
New Website Developer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #web, #internet, #site, #development, #code, #time, #deadline, #coding, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our website developer quit one week before the site was scheduled to be finished. But I hired a new one so we can finish on time. Dilbert: Apparently, you have never met a website developer before. Boss: So, you will be done in about a week, right? Developer: It will take me a month just to throw away the last guy's code.

Asok's Goal

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Asok's Goal - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #goals, #employment, #driver, #ride share, #rideshare, #dream, #turnover

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Is it important to have goals? Boss: Yes! You need goals to succeed. Asok: Good, because my goal is to become an Uber driver. I quit. What is your goal? Boss: Reducing employee turnover.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #complaining, #problems, #salutation, #sincerity, #insincere, #questioning, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Thanks for meeting me on short notice. How are you? Coworker: Well, actually, someone stole my identity and ruined my credit score. I couldn't refinance my loan and lost my house. So I ate myself into poor health. I stopped shaving for a month and ended up on the terrorist watchlist. My boss hates me and is trying to make me quit by giving me bad assignments. My car broke down and I haven't been hugged in a year. Dilbert: Okay, let's get started. Coworker: That's all the time I had.

Why All The Women Leave

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Why All The Women Leave - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Women, #technology, #quitting, #repulsion, #standards, #gender, #hiring, #sabotage

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Why do all of the women I hire quit within the first week? Wally: I'm guessing they have high standards, or something along those lines. Boss: They seem to quit soon after they meet you. Wally: Hypothesis confirmed.