Raise Hand Comic Strips - Page 3

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498 Results for Raise Hand

View 21 - 30 results for raise hand comic strips. Discover the best "Raise Hand" comics from Dilbert.com.

Workplace Bully

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Workplace Bully - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 01, 2018's comic on:


Tags #boss, #bully, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #threat, #work

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Boss: Cheryl, the other employees are complaining that you're a workplace bully. Cheryl: Hand over your wallet or else I'll tell your boss you tried to give me a shoulder rub. Carol: Did you talk to her? Boss: Don't ever ask me to do anything for your again.

Everyone Else Is Lazy And Useless

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Everyone Else Is Lazy And Useless - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 16, 2018's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #team, #meeting, #lazy, #useless, #propose, #marinate, #bile, #raise, #hands, #grunt

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Dilbert: Everyone on this team except me is lazy and useless. I propose that I do all of the work for the team. While the rest of you marinate in your own bile. All in

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 26, 2018's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #draft, #same day, #sloth, #tardiness

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The Boss: I told you a week ago that I needed your first draft by today. This is exactly why I say bad things about you behind your back! I need employees I can rely on! Your tardiness and sloth cannot be rewarded. Dilbert: I gave you the first draft the same day you asked. In fact, I think you're holding it in your hand right now. The Boss: I'll be back when I figure out how this is still your fault.

Wally's Stealth Drone

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Wally's Stealth Drone - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 09, 2018's comic on:


Tags #deception, #deceit, #drone, #technology, #invention, #fake

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Wally: In my right hand is a standard drone. In my left hand is a drone using the cloaking technology I invented. Voices: Ooh! Wow! Wally: I'll demonstrate it flying as soon as I finish the noise cancellation. CEO: Employee of the year!

Compensation Based On Happiness

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Compensation Based On Happiness - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 22, 2018's comic on:


Tags #happiness, #company culture, #raise, #wages, #job satisfaction, #compensation, #psychology, #money

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Boss: From now on, your compensation will be a function of your baseline happiness. We don't want to waste money giving raises to employees who won't get any happier no matter what we do. Dilbert: This plan makes me unhappy. Boss: Nice try, but you were already unhappy.

Wally Finds Critical Bug

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Wally Finds Critical Bug - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 07, 2018's comic on:


Tags #big business, #bug, #deception, #insider trading, #stock, #trick

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Wally: I found a critical bug in our software that could make our product worthless in a week. If you give me a huge raise, I won't tell anyone about the problem until you sell all of your company stock. Boss: Deal! Narrator: Two weeks later. Boss: Why haven't I heard about the bug yet? Wally: You didn't ask me if I knew how to fix it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 04, 2018's comic on:


Tags #my value, #new assignments, #projects, #slow walker, #rivals in management

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The Boss: Wally, Im promoting you to the position of slow walker. Wally: I am almost curious about what that entails. The Boss: I'll be giving you all the assignments that could make my rivals in management successful. All you have to of is low walk those projects until they die from lack of energy. Wally: Its about time you recognized my value. Ive been pre[aring for this moment all of my life. The Boss: Meet me in my office in ten minutes for you new assignments. You're supposed to be here two hours ago. Wally: Is it too soon to ask for a raise?

Money Can't Buy Happiness

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Money Can't Buy Happiness  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 03, 2018's comic on:


Tags #happiness, #work, #motivation, #meaning, #money, #raise, #wages, #excuses, #psychology

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Dilbert: I want a raise. Boss: Money can't buy happiness. Dilbert: Then why do people work? Boss: To avoid unhappiness. Dilbert: What's my best-case scenario here? Boss: I'll motivate you toward a neutral, zombie-like existence.

Zimbu Tests The App

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 Zimbu Tests The App - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 19, 2017's comic on:


Tags #technology, #addiction, #stimulus, #animal testing, #social media

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Narrator: Zimbu The Monkey. Dilbert: We need to do animal testing on our new app. Do you mind taking a look? Zimbu: I'm getting a strong dopamine hit every time I click on it. Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Dilbert: May I have it back? Zimbu: Put that hand away before I bite it off.

Product Is Too Addictive

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Product Is Too Addictive  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 16, 2017's comic on:


Tags #social media, #technology, #facebook, #twitter, #addiction, #big business, #impulse control

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Dilbert: I'm worried that we designed our product to be too addictive. Now we're more like a disease than a consumer product. Boss: Will you stop talking like that if I give you a raise? Dilbert: It's worth a try.